The worst time to hear about other people’s success stories is when you are feeling lost in your life. When I was still struggling to find my footing in my career, every success story of other people in my field made my throat feel tight.
As supportive as we might be able to be on Instagram, though, it can be hard to not feel like you lost. Recently, one person turn to Reddit for help on how to deal with other people's success, especially when you don't want to.
We picked these 10 helpful tips.
Comparison Is The Thief of Joy
The real culprit is comparison. Comparing yourself to that person forgetting that you are different. “It’s really hard,” one Redditor said, “but at the end of the day you need to try and separate the two.”
You can never be happy for yourself or others if you spend too much time worrying about what other people are doing and using it to minimize the things you do.
Your Struggle Doesn't Dim Others
Jealousy in small doses can be healthy. It's okay to be content while simultaneously desiring to emulate them. A Reddit user put it best: “I’m genuinely happy for people who make an honest living and become successful. However…Do I wish I had a brain that gave me the next multi-million dollar deal? Yep!”
Everyone’s Timeline Is Different
One user proclaimed that “just because theirs got baked and turned out delicious doesn’t mean that it’s bad, mine is still baking.” And I'll add that yours will turn out delicious in its time. Remember that your timeline is not the same as everyone else's.
It may be a bummer that you don't have a spouse, a child, or a crap ton of money, but it's good that others do. As one user pointed out, “Both timelines exist.” Neither prevents the existence of the other.
Someone else added that they discovered taking time to be sad for themselves allows them to be happy for others, proving (at least to me) that the happiness of others is unrelated to your own circumstances.
Find Inspiration
Positivity can help you draw lessons from the success stories of others. So, they might serve as a source of inspiration rather than anguish. Possessing a positive, “I can get it too,” outlook can help you achieve your goals. In my own experience, I've been able to jot down a few takeaways from these tales that will prove useful down the road.
For one Redditor, watching postings of happy engagements, happy weddings, silly best friends, graduations, or career achievements makes them think, “If they can get it, maybe I can too.” They use their friends' happiness as a spark of hope that soon it'll be their turn to find the thing that makes them happy.
Take Social Media Breaks
Social media bombards you with perfect images from other people's lives. manage the way you use social media, create healthy relationships online, and distance yourself from social media for a while if all else fails.
Sometimes a break from social media can help you focus on yourself. Throwaway_hotgirl admits to taking looooong breaks from Facebook cuz according to them, “I dont need to see which former friend/school classmate, etc got engaged, had a child, bought a house, got married”
Things Don't Always Seem Like They Look
Everyone is simply making confident assumptions about life, and they frequently hide their uneasiness by portraying themselves as having it all together. This is merely how we try to convince ourselves that everything will be fine; it's not done intentionally. Many supposedly happy couples are not happy; many engagements are destined to fail badly.
Hence, when people make announcements about important life events, keep in mind that the assurance they extolled from the rooftops was by no means a given and that, behind it all, people were only trying to find love and hope for the best. One Redditor found that by thinking in this way, they could actually cheer up for other people because their reality no longer seemed like some unattainable ideal.
Life Comes in Phases
Life comes in phases for everyone. You may be having a great run while they're getting a divorce in a few years. Never is it “the end,” and measuring success in retrospect is highly subjective. According to a Redditor, other people's happiness is as precarious as yours. That's why it's unnecessary to make comparisons.
Focus on What You Can Give
Focus less on what the world can give you and more on what you can give to the world. One user volunteered, “Confirmation bias is a real thing. If you think you are deprived of opportunity and purpose, you will spend all your days looking for proof of this.”
Instead create an abundance mindset and the easiest way to do this, according to them, is to give praise, love, help, support, and time as if you have so much of it you have enough to give away. That’s how you get the most out of life.
Gratitude Journal
Keeping a notebook of gratitude can be a comfort in times like these. Keeping a gratitude notebook helps you reflect on the good in your life. You'll have a lot brighter outlook on life, be able to enjoy the good times more fully, and form stronger bonds with those around you. It keeps you upbeat, and it improves your mood and outlook on life.
Move Past The Bad Feeling Quickly
Your initial reaction may be self-pity or a comparison of your life to theirs, but that's just human. As you take a step back and give it some thought, you'll realize that you're truly happy for whoever this is.
The genuine feeling you have for the other party is revealed when the initial surge of negative emotions about your position subsides and you can think more clearly and dispassionately. Someone said: “just fake being happy for them until you actually are is probably best.”
You can read the original conversation on Reddit.
This article was produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.