Just in case you're unfamiliar with the term “red flag,” it's when you have that instant “yikes” gut feeling that something doesn't feel right. And when it comes to red flags in relationships, they often come up in conversation, especially when you least expect them.
1. “All My Exes Are Crazy!”
If you're dating someone and they offer zero accountability for their past relationships, you should dig a little deeper and find out why. According to one commenter, if you hear the phrase, “All my exes are crazy!” it's because some people are very unlucky in romance. Still, most of the time, it just means the person takes no accountability for the failings of their relationships.
2. “I'm Brutally Honest”
Keeping right in line with being an alpha male or being blunt, if you hear, “I have no filter,” it's a catchphrase for saying exactly what you mean with a side of rude to go with it. According to one reader, “There's times for brutal honesty and times to placate, knowing which is which is crucial.”
3. “Trust Me, I'm Not Like The Others”
While trust, or mistrust, is an instinct in all of us, I like to take the high road and instill trust in someone until they give me a reason not to – unless they tell me to trust them because they are different from everyone else.
4. “We're Like a Family Here”
When interviewing for a new job, wanting to know the work dynamic is always beneficial. But if the work environment is a familial one, you may want to consider declining the position. According to one commenter, the phrase translates to, “I like to underpay my employees and meddle in their personal lives.”
5. “I'm an Alpha Male”
In the world of the wild, the term “alpha male” is rarely used these days. When talking about an animal pack leader, the word “breeder” is more appropriate. But if you hear it from a dude describing himself, it means he knows all about his dominant personality- so you need to steer clear.
6. “A Lot of People Don't Like Me Because I'm Blunt”
Sure, it's a good thing to know what type of personality you have, but when loads of people don't dig it, it might be time to reconsider how you affect them and work on changing it. And if you hear, “You don't beat around the bush,” or “You lay down the law and don't budge,” blunt is exactly what they're talking about.
7. “Either You Trust Me, or You Don't”
For the person saying the phrase, “Either you trust me or you don't,” there's no gray area. But, all trust is NOT the same: there are many types and levels of trust – and trying to “bootstrap from one to the other with some flimsy guilt trip is dishonest.”
8. “I Have No Filter”
My husband often tells me I have no filter when I'm sleepy. And by no filter, I don't think about what will come from my mouth. I blurt it out. But telling people you have “no filter” is just a sugar-coated way to say you're rude.
9. “You Have To Earn My Respect”
There was plenty of online talk about having to earn someone's respect. One reader said, “Sometimes people use “respect” to mean “treating someone like a person” and sometimes to mean “treating someone like an authority.” And while respect as an authority is earned and respect as a person should be the default, we're often not given the benefit of the doubt.
10. “If You Can't Handle Me at My Worst, You Don't Deserve Me at My Best”
In old-school marriage view terms, it means “for better, for worse” and “for richer, for poorer,” but that doesn't mean someone should take the phrase and be a terrible person without apologizing. Unfortunately, in modern times, the quote has been overused by entitled people who want “pushover friends and partners who ignore toxic behavior.”
11. “I'm an Empath”
If you're genuinely empathetic, it means that you're highly perceptive of the feelings of those around you. Empaths are great at listening and often provide calmness and peace to those they talk to. But, according to the online community, if someone actually calls themselves one, it tends to be completely the opposite and instead is self-centered and an egomaniac.
12. “It's Because I'm a Scorpio/Libra, Sagittarius, Etc”
Playing the horoscope card to give an excuse as to why you're the way you are is an easy way to show off a red flag, according to the online community. Instead of having personality traits based on family life, trauma, beliefs, and life experiences, those heavy into the culture are “annoying to no end. The month you were born has absolutely zero bearing on your personality.”
13. “I'm a Real Man”
Hundreds, and even thousands, of years ago, males and females had specific household roles. Fast forward to the present day, where, happily, your role is what you want it to be. But if you're happy to declare that you're a “man's man,” it undoubtedly won't go over well with those who heat it because it's for others to decide, not the one who has to proclaim it.
14. “Supposably” and “Irregardless”
For Joey in the television show “Friends” and Gretchen Weiners in the movie “Mean Girls,” it was hilarious to hear them speak “supposedly” and “regardless” incorrectly, and you maybe even had a lesson in proper pronunciation when you watched. But when we hear someone say the two words incorrectly and without a sarcastic tone, it's an instant shiver time.
15. “Do You Know Who I Am?”
Oh, dear. Pulling the “I'm so important you should already know me” card is a huge red flag for a person whose ego is larger than life. If you hear this phrase, be prepared to listen to it often whenever that person doesn't get their way.
16. “I Did My Best”
Depending on the person and the situation, this can be a total cop-out for not trying at all. Be careful of someone who says this too often.