Autism is a serious developmental disorder that makes it hard for people to interact with others and communicate properly. There are many different quirks, often unique to different autistic individuals. Generally, autistic people tend to get irritated and upset more than the average person.
Children are known to throw tantrums at the slightest inconvenience, as they lack proper ways of communication. An autistic child may be double the trouble, requiring the parent to give them special care and attention.
Almost any mother would do anything for her child, condone their bad behaviors and even make excuses for them out of a misguided notion of love. In this story, OP's sister claims her child is autistic, but OP thinks it's just a lie she uses to excuse his bad behavior.
True, no one knows a child more than the mother, but OP's sister may be delusional in this case. But I'll let you decide after you've heard the story.
Motherhood
OP's 23-year-old sister has a 9-year-old son. Before she gave birth to him, she used to be a very kind and rational person. But all of that changed with motherhood.
Motherhood changes a person in many ways, but I like to think it's always for the better. I guess one can't be too sure.
As the rational person her sister was, it's only natural that she would raise a child with some standards or morals. However, she noticed her sister let her child run wild — she put no limit on him. OP's sister might be raising a mini Thor because he would run around their parents' house, breaking a lot of things on purpose. Whenever they tried to correct him, he would throw a tantrum.
Also, when their parents tried to correct him, she would come to the rescue, saying her son behaved that way because he was autistic. However, there was no proof of it.
OP must have been really annoyed with this for her to take steps to verify that he truly was autistic. She took them to different consultations with autism specialists, and they all told her the same thing. The child was not autistic.
None of that was enough to convince her sister. She kept telling people that her son was autistic to justify his bad behavior.
The Birthday Cake
The previous week was her brother's daughter's birthday, and everyone in the family was there.
Her sister's son sounds like an attention-seeking princess, so you're correct if you've guessed by now that he messed up the gathering. Apparently, he had never seen a cake that didn't belong to him.
The birthday cake caught his eye, and he started throwing a tantrum when he realized the cake wasn't for him. He started screaming, crying, and trying to destroy the cake. Fortunately, her brother stepped into the scene and stopped him on time. Right then, her sister also entered the scene. She jumped to her son's defense, saying he couldn't use physical force on a child. Meanwhile, where was she when her son almost destroyed his cousin's cake?
She repeated the autistic excuse. Except this time, OP lost her cool. She had had enough. She yelled at her that her son was not autistic. He was a spoiled poorly-raised brat with no boundaries. That must have stung, but I think the mother needed to hear that.
Her sister and everyone else looked at her in shock after she said it. A scene like that will likely create a chilly environment, but getting it off her chest must have felt good.
Sorry, Not Sorry
After the showdown, her sister left with her son without waiting for the cake. But that wasn't the end. She sent her multiple messages. They basically said that OP was a lousy person, prejudiced against autistic people. She ended the texts demanding an apology.
She really likes her sister, even though she can't say the same for her son. But now, she thinks that she may have overreacted by yelling at her at a family event. Did she take it too far?
Op Did What Had To Be Done
Many people don't think that OP is wrong for acting that way. Love is blind, but her sister has let her love for her son blind her to the point that she can't even see what's right in front of her. OP did what needed to be done, and I hope the sister realizes this one day and thanks her.
Here's what people are saying.
“NTA, people that try and use autism as an excuse for their kids being shit are the worst, especially if the kid doesn't even have autism,” u/i_am_the_ginger commented.
Someone replied to this with a funny but true statement: “No, no, you misunderstand. It's not an excuse for his bad behavior. She LOVES being the autistic kid's mom and all the attention and sympathy that garners her, I'm sure of it.”
It looks like they are both attention-seeking princesses.
Wake Up and Smell The Coffee
Autism is a condition that a lot of people are struggling with. It's insulting when people make light of the matter and even stoop as low as to use it as an excuse for bad behavior.
Her sister is living in denial, and she needs to wake up.
What do you think?
This thread inspired this post.
This article was produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.
Boloere Seibidor, fondly called B.S. is a Nigerian-based writer and poet. Her favorite topics to cover include music, especially Hip-Hop, film, lifestyle, and fashion. She's been published by Feral Journal, Fantasy Magazine, The Temz Review, and most notably, Wealth of Geeks. She enjoys romantic dinners, movie nights, and touring new sites. When she's not writing, she's delving back in time to the underground world of Hip-Hop, watching TikTok, or visiting the cinema.