What's in a name? For countless bands worldwide, their name perfectly represents their music – a brand identity fans can latch on to. But what if bands' names reflected what they were? This thought exercise was the topic du jour in a recent online discussion among music fans. During the discourse, they narrowed down the bands that would put on the worst live shows – if you took their names literally!
1. They Might Be Giants
The uncertainty surrounding buying a ticket to a They Might Be Giants show is too much for many music fans to handle. “Can you imagine the suspense?” one man asks. “Are they? Or aren't they?” The suspense is killing me.
Talk about a total snooze-fest. But, on the plus side, I'm willing to bet plenty of people would pay concert prices to get a guaranteed good night's sleep!
3. The Smiths
Only a few people seem excited to go to a show headlined by The Smiths, and for a good reason. “There would be, like, 5 million people on stage,” laments one fan.
Seeing Weezer live would be a memory that would haunt me and countless others forever, except for one person. “Now this sounds like something I'd pay to see – a bunch of people having asthma attacks on stage,” he reveals.
Is a concert worth it if you don't make it out alive? “I'm a bit older, but I think Anthrax would be a great show nobody survived,” one music fan says coyly.
6. Band of Horses
I don't want to alarm anyone, but I highly doubt this band of horses has the finger dexterity to play music. On the upside, the nightmare scenario of being trampled by horses is very much in play when you buy a ticket to this show.
7. Spice Girls
Seeing the Spice Girls perform live was a dream for millions worldwide in the 90s, but not anymore. One person puts everything into perspective. “I think they'd be trying to sell you spices,” she says. “No thanks, I hate pushy salespeople.”
8. The Who
Imagine a sea of concertgoers all asking the same question and being utterly confused about who is performing on stage. That, ladies and gentlemen, would be hilarious.
9. A Flock of Seagulls
This one seems the most nightmarish of all the literal band names I've encountered. From the endless noise to the general destruction the seagulls would cause, it would be one of the worst concerts ever – but it wouldn't be boring!
10. Smashing Pumpkins
Seeing Smashing Pumpkins live would essentially be a rip-off of Gallagher's classic watermelon-smashing routine, but at least the first few rows would be in for a treat. With any luck, the pumpkin smashing itself would eventually settle into a groovy and danceable beat.
11. Imagine Dragons
Depending on what substances you ingest before seeing Imagine Dragons perform, this could be quite the experience. But, on the other hand, it'll most likely just be a letdown, as one man explains. “This would be so boring,” he says. “The people on stage are just imagining dragons. Where are their instruments?”
12. Rolling Stones
There would be some robust Indiana Jones vibes during this show. But, unfortunately, nearly every fan in attendance would suffer from broken bones at best – and being squashed at worst.
13. Puddle of Mudd
If you think dancing through puddles of mud would be wholly unique to this thought exercise, think again. “Actually, that turned out pretty well at Woodstock,” remembers one music fan.
14. Barenaked Ladies
The Barenaked Ladies have historically not lived up to their cheeky namesake. Think of all the tickets they would sell! Think of all the creepy men that would come to their shows! Never mind, this is a terrible idea!
15. The Beatles
One witty fan gets it. The following is the only correct response to discovering that the band comprises physical beetles. “The Beatles wouldn't be too pleasant, there'd be all kinds of screaming, and you wouldn't be able to hear the music,” she explains before coming to a realization.
This article was produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.