The 80 Best Spongebob Quotes of All Time

best SpongeBob SquarePants episodes

Spongebob is one of the most popular cartoon shows to have ever aired. Featured on the kids' television network Nickelodeon, Spongebob follows the story of a group of aquatic friends who live in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom.

If you were a 1990s or 2000s kid and watched Spongebob, you know just how funny and influential it was. Hopefully, some of these following Spongebob quotes can jog your memory and provide you with some nostalgia.

Here are 80 of the best Spongebob quotes of all time!

Best Spongebob Quotes of All Time

Between funny quotes about Krabby patties from the main character Spongebob to meaningful quotes on life from Plankton, you're sure to find some amusing quotes on this list.

Funny Spongebob Quotes

A good laugh never hurt anybody, and Spongebob is full of gut-busting moments to help you do just that. Here are some of the funniest Spongebob's quotes to ever air to help make you laugh.

  • “I’ll have you know that I stubbed my toe last week and only cried for 20 minutes.” – Spongebob Squarepants.
  • “This is not your average, everyday darkness. This is… ADVANCED darkness.” – Spongebob Squarepants.
  • “It’s evil. It’s diabolical. It’s lemon-scented. This Plan Z can’t possibly fail!” – Plankton.
  • “I’m so loyal, I don’t mind sleeping out in the cold, hard ground while Captain Krabs sleeps in his warm, dry tent.” – Spongebob Squarepants.
  • “Dumb people are always blissfully unaware of how dumb they really are…” – Patrick Star.
  • “Don't you have to go be stupid somewhere else?” – Sandy Cheeks.
  • “Hello? Where’d everybody go? Did I miss something? Did you see my butt?” – Patrick Star.
  • “Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24… 25!” – Spongebob Squarepants.
  • “Squidward… I used your clarinet to unclog my toilet!” – Spongebob Squarepants.
  • “I’ve waited years for this moment. I’m gonna go in there, march straight up to the manager, look at him straight in the eye, lay it on the line, and – I can’t do it!” – Patrick Star.
  • “Give to the Children’s fund? What have the children ever done for me?” – Mr. Krabs.
  • “It started out as a simple order. A Krabby Patty with cheese. When the customer took a bite, NO CHEESE!” – Mr. Krabs.
  • “Squidward, you’re steaming. You’re like a steamed vegetable, only smarter!” – Spongebob Squarepants.
  • “Oh Karen, my computer wife, if only I could have managed to steal the secret to Krabs’ success. The formula for the Krabby Patty…Ohhh…Then people would line up to eat at MY restaurant! Lord knows I’ve tried. I’ve exhausted every evil plan in my filing cabinet…from A to Y!” – Plankton.
  • “We should take Bikini Bottom and push it somewhere else!” – Patrick Star.
  • “Gary, I’m absorbing his blows like I’m made of some sort of spongy material.” – Spongebob Squarepants.
  • “I wumbo, you wumbo, he-she-me wumbo. Wumboing, wumbology, the study of wumbo! It’s first grade Spongebob.” – Patrick Star.
  • “His chops are too righteous. The helmets can’t handle this level of rock n’ roll! Karen, do something!” – Plankton.
  • “One hundred and one dollars for a Krabby Patty?” – Squidward.
  • “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” – Patrick Star.
  • “Somebody call the police! There’s a pants thief on the loose!” – Spongebob Squarepants.

Best One Liners From Spongebob

Spongebob is full of humorous one-liners that are perfect phrases to put on your fridge, set as your wallpaper or just keep in your back pocket in case a situation arises when it might be of use. Here are some of the best one-liners from various characters in Spongebob.

  • “If I were to die right now in a fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend…. Then it would just be alright.” – Spongebob Squarepants.
  • “Oh well, I guess I’m not wearing any pants today!” – Spongebob Squarepants.
  • “And tonight, after my big promotion, we’re gonna party till we’re purple.” – Spongebob Squarepants.
  • “Isn’t this great Squidward? Its just the 3 of us. You, me, and this brick wall you built between us.” – Spongebob Squarepants.
  • “Can you give Spongebob his brain back, I had to borrow it for the week.” – Patrick Star.
  • “I knew a guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy’s cousin…” – Spongebob Squarepants.
  • “The Krusty Krab pizza is the pizza for you and me.” – Spongebob Squarepants
  • If there’s one thing we Atlanteans enjoy, it’s a healthy dose of dark humor!” – Lord Royal Highness
  • “Nonsense, my vocabulary is infinitely expanding!” – Patrick Star.
  • “A Triple Gooberberry Sunrise, huh? I guess I could use one of those.” – Spongebob Squarepants.
  • “We don’t need television…not as long as we have our imagination.” – Spongebob Squarepants.
  • “I was trying to tell you that I was choking on snow but the snow melted and turned into water and I drank all the water now I’m better.” – Patrick Star.
  • “I have a square head and a real ghost has a round one. All we have to do is make my head round and boo, I’m scary!” – Spongebob Squarepants.
  • “Don’t you DARE take the name of Texas in vain.” – Sandy Cheeks
  • “Run Mr. Krabs! Run like you’re not in a coma!” – Spongebob Squarepants.
  • “You don’t need a license to drive a sandwich” – Spongebob Squarepants.

Iconic Spongebob Quotes To Drop In Conversation

Conversations can be dry sometimes and in need of spicing up. What better way to do that than to drop a Spongebob quote? Here are some of of most iconic Spongebob quotes to drop into your everyday conversations.

  • “Moss always points to civilization.” – Spongebob Squarepants
  • “See, no one says ‘cool’ anymore. That’s such an old person thing. Now we say ‘coral’, as in ‘That nose job is so coral.’” – Pearl Krabs.
  • “Can I be excused for the rest of my life?” – Spongebob Squarepants.
  • “A five letter word for happiness…money.” – Mr. Krabs.
  • “The best time to wear a striped sweater…is all the time!” – Spongebob Squarepants.
  • “Remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets.” – Spongebob Squarepants
  • “So much later that the old narrator got tired of waiting and they had to hire a new one.” – Narrator.
  • “F is for a fire that burns down the whole town, U is for Uranium…bombs! N is for no survivors!” – Plankton.
  • “I guess hibernation is the opposite of beauty sleep!” – Patrick Star.
  • “The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.” – Patrick Star.
  • “There it is. The finest eating establishment ever established for eating. The Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty, with the Help Wanted sign on the front. I’ve waited years for this moment. I’m gonna go in there, march straight up to the manager, look at him straight in the eye, lay it on the line, and.. I can’t do it!” – Spongebob Squarepants.
  • “Listen here, ya little barnacle. No one and I means no one can ever know about this. It’ll be the end of you, it’ll be the end of me. And worst of all, it’ll be the end of me!” – Mr. Krabs.
  • “Ah, a few blobs of ink doesn’t prove a thing. I’m as evil as ever, I’ll prove it right now by stealing the Krabby Patty secret formula.” – Plankton
  • “I’m hotter than a hickory smoked sausage!” – Sandy Cheeks
  • “It's just a cruel reminder that I'm single and likely to remain that way forever.” – Squidward.

Various Spongebob Catchphrases To Jog Your Nostalgia

Every Spongebob character has certain phrases that are more memorable than others. Here are some catchphrases from Spongebob that are sure to job your memories.

  • “Well, it’s no secret that the best thing about a secret is secretly telling someone your secret, thereby adding another secret to their secret collection of secrets, secretly.” – Spongebob Squarepants.
  • “Being grown up is boring. Besides, I don’t ‘get’ jazz.” – Patrick Star.
  • “Look at all the hip young people eating sal-ads.” – Spongebob Squarepants
  • “Well, the way I see it, there are three possibilities: One, you stole it; two, you stole it; or three, you stole it!” – Mr. Krabs.
  • “Too bad SpongeBob’s not here to enjoy Spongebob not being here.” – Squidward.
  • “Two words, SpongeBob. Na. Chos.” – Patrick Star.
  • “Ravioli ravioli, give me the formuoli.” – Spongebob Squarepants.
  • “Aye-aye, captain!” – Spongebob Squarepants.
  • “Tartar sauce!” – Spongebob Squarepants.
  • “Karen, my computer wife…'/'Computer wife…” – Sheldon Plankton.
  • “Sweet mother of Pearl!'/'Mother of Pearl!” – Mr. Krabs.
  • “Come spend your money here!” – Mr. Krabs.
  • “Everybody’s a critic.” – Squidward.
  • “Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end!” – Patrick Star.
  • “I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I definitely don’t need it. I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I… need… it!” – Spongebob Squarepants.
  • “How did I ever get surrounded by such loser neighbors?” – Squidward.
  • “Holographic Meatloaf? My favorite!” – Plankton.

Meaningful and Deep Spongebob Quotes

Quotes are great for putting a smile on your face, but they can also be good reminders of how we should live life. Though Spongebob is a humorous TV show, there are certain deep moments that can make us reflect on our own situations. Here are some of the most meaningful quotes from Spongebob.

  • “Sometimes we have to go deep inside ourselves to solve our problems.” – Patrick Star.
  • “We shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request.” – Mr. Krabs.
  • “You never really know the true value of a moment, until it becomes a memory.” – Spongebob Squarepants.
  • “You’ll never get what you want if you always let people step on you.” – Sheldon Plankton.
  • “After going on your life-changing journey, you now realize that you don’t want what you thought you wanted. What you really wanted was inside you all along.” – Squidward.
  • “Home is where you’re surrounded by other critters that care about you.” – Sandy Cheeks
  • “If you believe in yourself and with a tiny pinch of magic, all your dreams can come true.” – Spongebob Squarepants.
  • “No one can change a person, but someone can be a reason for that person to change.” – Spongebob Squarepants.
  • “It’s not always what you say that matters, sometimes it’s what you don’t say.” – Mr. Krabs.
  • “With imagination, you can be anything you want.” – Spongebob Squarepants.
  • “Always follow your heart unless your heart is bad with directions.” – Spongebob Squarepants.
  • “Knowledge cannot replace friendship.” – Patrick Star.

Recap: Best Spongebob Quotes of All Time

No matter how old you are, Spongebob is sure to put you in a good mood. Between the diverse set of characters, funny situations, and witty dialogue, the show is truly a classic kids TV series that will be remembered for a long time to come.

Spongebob Squarepants quotes are great for bringing back childhood memories and reminiscing about the past. Most of them are funny, but some actually provide some useful life advice.

This post has revealed some of the most memorable Spongebob quotes of all time. Whether you're looking for a unique Instagram caption or just something funny to drop into your everyday conversations, look no further than these quotes!

Author: Jeff Fang

Expertise: Finance


Jeff is a current Harvard student and author of the blog Financial Pupil who is passionate about learning, living, and sharing all things personal finance-related. He has experience working in the financial industry and enjoys the pursuit of financial freedom. Outside of blogging, he loves to cook, read, and golf in his spare time.