Marriage proposals are major moments in a couple's real-life love story. Some people prefer to go over the top, with big, public proposals and even bigger rings. Other people choose to keep things small and intimate. Usually, this is a reflection of who the couple is and can be a hint at what's to come.
One woman always expected if her boyfriend proposed, it would be something she'd want to brag about. But when it finally happened, it was so disappointing, she tried to pretend it never happened.
Business Trip on Valentine's Day
They've been together for two years and have been living together for one. Thanks to a business trip, she would be out of town for their first Valentine's Day living together. She felt terrible but was looking forward to seeing her boyfriend when he picked her up from the airport. Like someone right out of a romantic comedy, she was expecting him to dial up the doting.
But what she got was the opposite. No flowers, no chocolates. Nothing. But maybe he had something waiting for her at home.
There was a surprise alright: dirty dishes in the sink and rotten food in the fridge she knew had been in there since the weekend before.
She was disappointed. So, she cleaned out the fridge, did the dishes, and went to bed. Only that's when her boyfriend decided to follow her to her side of the bed. But instead of apologizing for the lame homecoming, somehow things got worse.
Popping The Question
Her boyfriend pulled out two silver rings and blurted out, “I realized while you were gone that you are ingrained in my life, and I know you left everything behind for us, so I bought these to make it official…”
She was shocked and asked him if he was proposing to her. “Yes,” he said. So, because she loved him, she, too, said yes.
Only later did she discover how little effort went into his proposal. The rings? They were only $50. He wasn't poor or struggling. He had a ton of free time but spent it playing video games.
Just a few days ago, he bought a new camera and new material for cosplay costumes. She knows he spent way more than $50, and more time than it probably took to buy the two rings, playing video games. But he couldn't find the time to do the dishes, let alone plan a decent proposal for the woman he supposedly loves.
OP feels devastated and guilty for feeling the way she does. She wants to know if she's wrong.
Undervalued
In this situation, anyone can agree that OP's boyfriend didn't treat her right. From my point of view, there are so many things to pin against him in this story. It's obvious he doesn't value her as much as he values a video game, and that really sucks.
Someone told OP not to feel guilty for feeling that way:
“Jeez, I’m so sorry OP. Please don’t feel guilty for feeling undervalued because that is the whole vibe I’m getting from what you’ve pointed out. The way that I see it, this man has let you down in a big way, and this needs to be a discussion as this type of thing can definitely fester into resentment that you don’t need if you want the relationship to be healthy….”
This person also narrated how her best friend hates talking about her proposal because of how terrible it was and how she had to save up to get herself a better ring.
They concluded this way:
“I don’t want this to be you OP. Maybe recommend some time to think about it or some time apart so he can see that your relationship is still something worth putting effort into.”
Another person shared some insights:
“NAH…The real question is — Is this the life you want for the next 50 years? He will always be on low-effort when it comes to your relationship. How important is that to you?
You have said that you work hard – a nice paying job, car, and everything needed to contribute to your (and your future family's) future. In contrast, you are saying that he mostly spends his money on himself. What do you think he will bring to the relationship when you are married?”
Relationships are all about efforts; putting in the effort to make your partner happy and do right by them. If one is in a relationship where their partner isn't even trying to do things to make them feel important, then there's something seriously wrong, and one would need to reevaluate.
Do you agree?
This thread inspired this post.
This article was produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.
Boloere Seibidor, fondly called B.S. is a Nigerian-based writer and poet. Her favorite topics to cover include music, especially Hip-Hop, film, lifestyle, and fashion. She's been published by Feral Journal, Fantasy Magazine, The Temz Review, and most notably, Wealth of Geeks. She enjoys romantic dinners, movie nights, and touring new sites. When she's not writing, she's delving back in time to the underground world of Hip-Hop, watching TikTok, or visiting the cinema.