Moments are fleeting, faces fade from memory, and the most beautiful things in life can be washed away with time. But when those memories are captured in photos, they last forever. Being a photographer can feel like holding eternity in your hands.
You never know where your job will take you when you're a freelance photographer. One day you could be photographing a lovely couple on their wedding day, capturing all the laughter and emotions. The next, you could be photographing a half-naked woman, and having to prove that you're not a creep — even though all evidence points to it.
A woman was going through her boyfriend's phone when she found photos of a half-naked woman, and now she doesn't know how to feel about it.
They've been together for about six months and things have been great. He's a photographer, but not serious about it; it's mostly a hobby, with he does some paying gigs here and there.
One time, he did a swimsuit photoshoot. She wouldn't have thought anything of it, but not only was it a photoshoot he was doing for models for free, but he never told her about it. He definitely never showed her the pictures.
He also never told her about it until she found the photos on his phone.
She was uncomfortable and brought it up with him, asking that if he does photo shoots like that in the future he be more open about it. Especially when he was taking photos like this for free, it needed to feel like less of a secret for her to feel comfortable.
He seemed pretty cool with the suggestion.
The Photo Shoot
Recently, he did a boudoir photo shoot with a close friend he sees at least once a week. These were paid sessions, and the photos were tasteful, but still extremely intimate — and on his phone. Also, he never mentioned anything to her about it.
Instead, he casually showed his girlfriend photos of his friend from the boudoir shoot, and now she, too, felt she knew his friend on a new level. She wondered how he didn't.
Certainly, it doesn't look like normal behavior. I think she needs to take it more seriously, and possibly have a deep conversation with him to figure out a way that works best for the best of them. Having photos of almost naked women in your collection definitely comes across as creepy behavior.
One person labeled it as a glaring red flag. They said,
“When I set boundaries, I'm not expecting other people to respect them. I'm expecting myself to walk away if they don't. To me, it seems like you set an incredibly reasonable boundary, and he had no desire to respect it. That's a red flag you shouldn't ignore, in my opinion.”
u/TheBirdAbides shares a similar experience being married to an artist, and understands OP. Still, they think her boyfriend is looking guilty:
“Being in a relationship with an artist sometimes involves some uncomfortable experiences. My husband is an actor and there's the possibility that he will one day have to perform some kind of intimate scene (he's had to in the past but not yet while we've been together). It's something I'm aware of, but the reason I'm ok with it is because I have full faith that he would keep me informed beforehand and touch base with me during and after the process.
OP's boyfriend sounds like he's testing what he can get away with and/or doesn't feel like her concerns are valid because this is his art/side hustle so it's a subtle dismissal. Either way isn't a good look.”
He truly is testing the waters. OP might have to put a firm foot down and let it be clear that she does not appreciate finding those kinds of photos on his phone. I doubt it would make her look insecure or controlling. After all, she has a say in the relationship, too.
What's your take?
This thread inspired this post.
This article was produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.
Boloere Seibidor, fondly called B.S. is a Nigerian-based writer and poet. Her favorite topics to cover include music, especially Hip-Hop, film, lifestyle, and fashion. She's been published by Feral Journal, Fantasy Magazine, The Temz Review, and most notably, Wealth of Geeks. She enjoys romantic dinners, movie nights, and touring new sites. When she's not writing, she's delving back in time to the underground world of Hip-Hop, watching TikTok, or visiting the cinema.