The wedding day is one very important day in a couple's life. They would do anything to get it right and won't hesitate to address anything or anyone that looks like a threat — family or not. But do they take it too far sometimes? One person online, OP, wants to know if she did.
The Celebration
Despite the fact that OP and her husband are already legally married, they're trying to plan a get-together to celebrate with their closest friends and family.
To keep things small, OP explains she only invited her cousin and his wife — Richard and Rachel — their best friends — Harold and Jane — her husband's sister, and her other cousin.
Unfortunately, the two couples haven't been on good terms with each other. Jane and Rachel used to be close friends until Jane started dating Harold. For reasons OP doesn't really understand, the couples stopped being friends. Being sensitive to these dynamics, OP checked-in with the couples about the wedding to make sure they would be comfortable.
But when OP's maid of honor tried to plan a bachelorette party, Rachel said she wouldn't be attending. Apparently, the drama that unfolded five years ago was still too fresh to be that close to Jane.
Two Bachelorette Parties
Rachel didn't just say she wouldn't be attending the bachelorette, though. She actually asked OP to plan a separate bachelorette night Jane wouldn't be invited to. Not only did OP tell Rachel no, but she also told Rachel exactly how upset she was by the situation.
Cutting to a few weeks later, Richard — OP's cousin — texted her, saying he wouldn't be attending her husband's bachelor party since Harold would be there. Richard also warned OP about being around Jane and Harold.
OP sent an admittedly equally “passive-aggressive” text message back, telling her cousin he needed to text her husband if he was going to bail on the bachelor party.
But OP didn't stop there. At this point, she was so sick of the drama that she told Richard and Rachel they were no longer invited to the wedding. According to OP, the wedding should be about her and her husband — not about drama from half a decade ago. But now she's wondering if she overreacted.
Thoughts From Viewers
One user u/Thalimet, shares my thoughts and thinks they were all immature in the way they handled the situation:
“ESH. You are adults acting like you’re 12-year-olds. Grow up. All of you. This is pointless, needless drama. Grown adults know how to go to or be in a wedding with someone they don’t like.”
u/Heloise_Morris comments:
“Why did you invite people you know do not like one another to be part of your wedding celebration? You were fully aware of the animosity and history between these couples.”
OP replies u/Heloise_Morris:
“I figured since it was five years ago that they could be adults about everything and fake it.”
Some other people do not think that OP is TA; they blame the pairs (Richard and Rachel, Harold and Jane).
User u/Sali_Future relates to OP's issue, having gone through something similar:
“I wish I'd known what drama I was getting from one bridesmaid but NTA.
Yes you're all grown-ups but if they can't manage ‘wedding activities' then dropping the ones (whom you put are the ones causing issues) from the wedding party to guests is probably the only way to go, however, be prepared for adult tantrums on the day. And maybe hide the booze (that was my mistake letting her drink from 8 am).”
OP adds a comment, trying to explain why she invited them all despite the history between them:
“I also want to add if I took into consideration who doesn’t like who, I wouldn’t have anyone at my wedding. My parents are divorced, my husbands family fights all the time. I don’t think it’s my place to not invite one person because the other person doesn’t like them. I invited these two set of people because they are equally important to me.”
OP is trying to do all she can to make her day go right, and she realizes the day is about her and her husband, not anyone else. But do you think she handled the situation well, or is she TA?
This thread inspired this article.
This article was produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.
Boloere Seibidor, fondly called B.S. is a Nigerian-based writer and poet. Her favorite topics to cover include music, especially Hip-Hop, film, lifestyle, and fashion. She's been published by Feral Journal, Fantasy Magazine, The Temz Review, and most notably, Wealth of Geeks. She enjoys romantic dinners, movie nights, and touring new sites. When she's not writing, she's delving back in time to the underground world of Hip-Hop, watching TikTok, or visiting the cinema.