Getting your first period as a girl is a huge milestone. Of course, if you're a woman reading this, you remember the first time. But, for most people like me, it wasn't exactly rosy.
It's amazing when we have supportive people around, and that's the kind of parent this dad wants to be, but it seems his ex-wife doesn't want that.
OP is a divorced dad of two girls aged fifteen and twelve. He and his ex-wife have equal shared custody, where both kids spend a week with each parent.
Everyone knows how rough this kind of situation is, trying your best to be an awesome parent in the limited time you spend with your kid.
His eldest daughter got her period a few years ago at his place, and he did his best to support her. He got all she needed and offered the best advice he could. He also informed her mom about it.
He has always been involved in helping his daughter through her periods. Trophy dad, huh?
His youngest got her period at her mom's a while later, but she didn't tell him about it.
It’s normal for girls to feel shy about telling their dads about stuff like this, even though he’s had some practice.
So, he was shocked when his youngest daughter came asking him and her sister if there was any pad at his place. He felt bummed that his ex-wife didn't tell him about it.
Knowing he’s always helped and been approachable, even though his daughter didn’t volunteer the information, I think his ex-wife should have told him.
He sent a text to his ex-wife telling her he knew and wasn't happy that she didn't tell him so he could prepare.
She said it was a “girl thing,” and she had everything in control, so she didn't tell him. She wasn’t doing much to help the case here.
He understands he is a man and would never know some of these “girl” things, but he wanted to help and be a part of the journey by getting her the personal items she needed. It must have really stung to feel that he was left out of such a huge life event.
Most fathers don’t even want to be involved, especially with menstrual cycles.
The least his ex-wife could have done is be supportive and understanding.
OP is annoyed, but he needs to know if he's wrong. He wants to be there for his kids and help them have good experiences in any way he can.
He also mentioned that he is not, in any way, trying to take their mom's place in his daughters' lives. He just wants to be there for his girls.
Is he wrong for feeling the way he does?
Free hugs to him and any other father who feels this way.
Men Need To Know, Too
People have weighed in on the matter, and they don’t think he’s anything but a good father. It’s not wrong that he feels annoyed about it. They believe men need to be educated on these matters, too.
u/KaliTheBlaze said, “NTA. At a minimum, she should have given you a heads-up, so your daughter wasn’t scrambling for supplies at your place. What if your older daughter used something different from what the younger was comfortable with (e.g. tampons or a cup when the younger wanted pads)?”
u/newmexicomurky thinks that his wife could be honoring his daughter’s wish to keep it private.
“NTA, but this might not be a gatekeeping thing. Your daughter might not have wanted everyone to know immediately and told the person she had to tell at the time. It's an embarrassing and uncomfortable thing to go through at first, she might have just wanted some privacy about it.”
u/AngereyPupper believes that men should be educated more on things like these, so they learn more and get more involved,
“NTA. Ffs, this is what we've been trying to work toward. It is a woman's problem, but men need to know about it and how to deal with it too. Otherwise, we end up with guys with weird ideas on how periods work or thinking we can just turn them on and off as we please…”
OP isn't wrong for wanting to be part of his daughter's journey to womanhood. But, then again, his daughter may still need to be comfortable bringing him in on that journey.
Have you been in a similar situation before? How did you deal with it?
A thread inspired this post.
This article was produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock.
Boloere Seibidor, fondly called B.S. is a Nigerian-based writer and poet. Her favorite topics to cover include music, especially Hip-Hop, film, lifestyle, and fashion. She's been published by Feral Journal, Fantasy Magazine, The Temz Review, and most notably, Wealth of Geeks. She enjoys romantic dinners, movie nights, and touring new sites. When she's not writing, she's delving back in time to the underground world of Hip-Hop, watching TikTok, or visiting the cinema.