Sometimes a situation arises, and decisions, good or bad, are made in a impulsive way. In hindsight, those decisions can seem terribly skewed to one side, and a Reddit dad is finding this out the hard way.
Here's The Story
Reddit user @Throw-Away1748, the original poster (OP), left a question about his decision to not take in his twin girls when his ex, the girls' mother, went into labor early.
According to OP, his ex and his current wife were pregnant at the same time. His current wife was about 10 weeks ahead of his ex concerning their due dates.
OP's (current) wife went into labor and delivered a sweet baby boy. Three days after they brought their son home, he received a call from his sister-in-law (SIL).
His ex had been taken to the hospital and was being given an emergency c-section to deliver her baby a scary nine weeks early. This would obviously mean that both mom and baby would be in the hospital for a while and his daughters would need tending and caring for.
OP had the audacity to tell his SIL that he “couldn't take them in, because they'd just brought their son home and didn't want any guests for the first 2 weeks.”
OP got an earful from his SIL on the fact that bringing home a new son didn't cancel out the fact that he had two daughters to care for and he apologized and offered to “send her some money” for taking care of them.
OP admits that not only did the twin girls have to bounce from the SIL's house to the grandparents' home while their mom recovered in the hospital, but he also said he “missed a video call” with them that was apparently a routine thing.
After the two week time limit OP and his new wife had given themselves to enjoy their son as a family of three, OP decided he could take his girls in and offered for them to come to stay. He was told they didn't want to come stay as he was more focused on his son.
While OP thinks his daughters are parroting the opinions of adults they interact with, Redditors had no problem giving this dad an earful of opinions.
One person online, @KimChiDiva, wanted to remind this dad that he doesn't have a ‘family of three.'
” ‘We were wanting to spend the time just bonding as a family of three.'…but you're a family of five. You're in the wrong.”
Kids = Guests?
@CatsNComedy caught the way this dad talked about his own children. “He referred to his own kids as “guests.””
@Tassy820 wants OP to understand what's at stake if he doesn't change his attitude toward his daughters. “You're in the wrong. You have three children. The twins need to bond with their new brother. Instead, you made two big mistakes. You rejected your daughters over your son, and, yes, they will always remember this.
You proved to your ex that the twins can not depend on you. You should have been there for them.
If you were still married to your ex and had a third child, would you have shipped the twins off so you could bond with your son? Well, that is basically what you did.
Your family did not grow, it shrank by your actions, and now your relationship with your daughters is at risk.”
User @Ok_Air324 hopes OP's ex-wife gets full custody of her daughters as it's clear the dad only wants his ‘family of three.'
“That’s what got me! Like your own children are not guests? This whole post was so sad and I hope his ex-wife gets full custody so he can focus on his “family of 3” like he wants.”
Hindsight Isn't Always 20/20
Not everyone gains the 20/20 vision that hindsight is supposed to deliver. Unfortunately, that often means that innocent bystanders pay the price. What would you say to OP if you had the chance?
This thread inspired this article.
This article is produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.