Relationships can be rosy but they can also be full of thorns. It takes a lot of deep understanding for two people to navigate through a passionate affair without burning it to the ground.
It can be even tougher on both people when one of them has been deeply hurt before. The sting of one's partner cheating is not one that dulls easily. Once a person has been betrayed in a relationship, they are very likely to develop deep trust issues that may take a very long time to get rid of. They may become paranoid and obsessive in their new relationship.
It may be cute at first, but it soon becomes very tiring and annoying when it feels like someone else is watching their every move 24/7. Luckily, there are a few things you could do if you find yourself in one of these kinds of relationships.
1. Consider Therapy
If your partner can't stop talking about his ex, there is a very high chance that they have not yet completely healed from the pain their past relationship caused them. Suggesting therapy to them or attending therapy together might be a great way to move forward.
Certainly, the change isn't going to happen in a day. Your partner is not going to attend therapy and emerge a totally changed man or woman. Like all good things, it will take time, but there are high chances that it will get better.
2. Be Patient and Understanding
If you truly love someone, it takes nothing to be patient and understanding with them, while you realize the struggle they must be going through. Remember that they were betrayed by someone they loved and trusted. You might want to think about that before you react to anything they may have done.
While it's frustrating to have someone obsessing over you and second-guessing everything you say, be patient with them on their healing journey. Step into their shoes and try to see things from their point of view, and if you still don't understand, it's important to validate their concerns and show that you're trying to understand.
3. Ask Why
If you are dating someone who consistently brings up how their former partner cheated on them and broke their trust, you might want to ask why. The answer may seem obvious, but sometimes, the answer may be deeper than it seems.
Betrayal can affect a person in a lot of ways, open up older, deep wounds, and stir up new trauma. So oftentimes, when your partner can't stop talking about their ex and their experiences, it may have to do with some deeper form of trauma.
4. Consider Boundaries
No one wants anyone following them everywhere like a creep, tracking their every phone call, and researching everyone they hang out with.
Talk about how uncomfortable you are with their behavior, and how it makes you feel, especially as trust is a foundation in every relationship, and they seem to like it. You could discuss boundaries that work for both of you to ensure the relationship remains safe.
Yup! You can't save a sinking ship, get out while you can and save yourself. It's very possible that they are not yet over their ex or deliberately hanging on to the pain they caused them. The best thing you can do for yourself is to walk away from the toxic relationship or give them a long space to heal.
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This article was produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.
Boloere Seibidor, fondly called B.S. is a Nigerian-based writer and poet. Her favorite topics to cover include music, especially Hip-Hop, film, lifestyle, and fashion. She's been published by Feral Journal, Fantasy Magazine, The Temz Review, and most notably, Wealth of Geeks. She enjoys romantic dinners, movie nights, and touring new sites. When she's not writing, she's delving back in time to the underground world of Hip-Hop, watching TikTok, or visiting the cinema.