Are you and your lover speaking different languages? Speaking your partner's erotic love language could dramatically improve your sex life – and your relationship in general.
In 1992, astrology, enneagrams, and Myers-Briggs testing were suddenly paired with John Gray's Men are From Mars, Women Are From Venus and Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages as ways of understanding and communicating in relationships. Now sex experts say there's another road map to be considered – the five erotic love languages.
Yes, that's right, sex experts have pinpointed how we express and receive sexual desire, and how that can intensely enhance our sex lives.
What Is an Erotic Blueprint?
The concept of an erotic blueprint comes from Jaiya, a somatic sexologist, and educator who has spent decades researching the science of arousal and pleasure.
According to Jaiya, an erotic blueprint is a map of what turns you on.
Just as the five love languages can help us understand how we give and receive love, erotic blueprints can show us how we experience arousal.
Knowing your erotic blueprint can help boost your self-awareness in the bedroom, improve communication between you and your partners, and better understand what excites you — and why.
The sex experts at delicto.com explain what you need to know about erotic blueprints.
What Are The Five Erotic Blueprints?
There are five erotic blueprints: sensual, sexual, energetic, kinky, and shapeshifter.
Most people identify with one or two erotic blueprints more than others, but it's common to relate to certain aspects of all of them.
The blueprint that resonates with you the most is your primary erotic blueprint, the style that reflects your biggest turn-ons.
The sensual erotic blueprint is all about igniting the senses. What you hear, see, smell, taste, and touch significantly affects your aroused state. If you have a sensual erotic blueprint, you're more likely to be particular about your environment when you have sex.
Aromatic candles, a warm bubble bath, and a tidy bedroom are all things that can make the sensual type feel turned on and ready for action.
Someone with a sensual erotic blueprint might also like to explore stimulation in areas of the body aside from the genitals.
Other erogenous zones like the nape of the neck, backs of the knees, and ear lobes are all potential kryptonite for the sensual type.
Some examples of make-or-break turn-offs for sensual folks are:
- A messy room
- TV or music on in the background
- Odd smells in the air
- An aftertaste in your/your partner's mouth from eating or smoking
- An environment that feels too warm or too cold
This straight-to-the-point erotic blueprint is laser-focused on nudity, orgasm, and the genitals. If you have a sexual blueprint, seeing a picture of your naked lover might be all you need to go from zero to 100 on the arousal meter.
If your partner has a sexual erotic blueprint, it doesn't mean you should put less effort into turning them on, just that it might be easier to do so! Taking off their clothes or your own, touching them, and kissing them could be a surefire path to arousal, regardless of your surroundings.
Whereas the sensual type could find arousal elusive in a cluttered room, a sexual type probably won't mind making love anywhere, at any time.
A few things that might turn off the sexual type are:
- Prolonged anticipation. They can only take so much teasing.
- Insecurity about their body
- A partner's insecurity or inhibitions
For those with an energetic blueprint, anticipation is everything. The longing revs the engine of the energetic type, making foreplay particularly important for this style.
Teasing, flirting, and building excitement for the sex to come is almost as arousing, if not more so, as the sex itself. That's why dirty lines can be a go-to arousal tool for the energetic.
Getting hyped up via sexy texts and pictures before a face-to-face encounter can ensure an ultra-horny hook-up.
Here are some mood killers for energetic types:
- Skipping foreplay
- Feeling rushed to orgasm
- Limited flirting before sex
- Fear of dirty talk
The kinky erotic blueprint revolves around what polite society typically deems taboo or sexually deviant. People with this style often explore role play and detailed sexual fantasies that depart from the “vanilla” or mainstream.
Wax play, bondage, and experimenting with power dynamics may all appear in the kinky type's arsenal of arousal. While folks in this category might not need kink to become aroused, exploring these desires can help them experience deeper, more intense excitement.
Some surefire ways to turn them off are:
- Disinterest in exploring kinks/fetishes
- Refusal to try sex toys
- Consistent vanilla sex. Kinky types like to switch it up!
This style brings a little of every blueprint to the table. The shapeshifter feeds off their partner's energy and often derives the most pleasure from seeing them turned on.
The shapeshifter is very adaptable and intuitive and can weave in and out of each sexual style in response to their partner's arousal. If you're a shapeshifter, you might feel most excited when you adapt to the blueprint of your partner, match their mood, and play into their biggest turn-ons.
Any of the turn-offs listed above might apply to shapeshifters, too, but two things that might kill the mood are:
- Quiet lovers. They want to hear you enjoying yourself.
- Lack of enthusiasm. Remember, they match your energy.
Of the five erotic blueprints, there might be one or two that you relate to most. Or maybe you're unsure about which sexual style describes you best.
Even if you're still exploring what excites you the most, understanding erotic blueprints can help you pay attention to how your unique sexuality works and what's at play when you feel most aroused.
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Nicole Graham is a relationship expert at Womenio.com. Nicole is helping women grow into their best selves so they can be confident and bring more love, passion, and purpose to their lives. Nicole enjoys studying the psychology of love and is passionate about writing about it. She offers helpful tips and advice to help overcome any relationship issue, whether you're single or already in a relationship.