Friendships, like most relationships, can be complicated. When you add in marriage problems, things can get even messier. One man learned the hard way and is now having major regrets.
Here's The Story
OP is married to ‘Natalie' and has been ‘friends' with ‘Olive' for quite some time. Olive is the wife of OP's oldest friend. Unfortunately, things have taken a sour turn ever since Olive and Natalie became friends and started hanging out.
OP discloses that his wife is not good with money and, therefore, doesn't have access to his savings account. He says he makes about three times as much as Natalie, and because she's terrible at saving money, most of the assets sitting in his savings account were placed there by him.
But he doesn't just see it as “his” money. He's hoping to put the savings towards buying a home for them.
For a reason OP can't pinpoint, Natalie told Olive all about their finances during a night of drinking, and now Olive is obsessed with their financial arrangement. She's been telling Natalie that she, “should demand access to their savings account and spend as much on clothes and other items as possible.”
OP says he doesn't see it as a coincidence that, after every night out, Natalie starts a fight with him about their finances. Natalie commented that Olive and her husband do their finances “in a much better way” than they did, which makes OP even more suspicious.
The thing is, OP has a fully-remote job at a foreign company that pays considerably more than any in his country. OP says he used to make more in one month than Olive and her husband combined. But now that Olive got a new job, she's making more money.
OP thinks this is where the issue started. Olive's been telling Natalie things like, “Now I make 3 times as much as my husband, but he has access to my every penny. Natalie, this is what you and your husband should do too! You should demand it!”
Recently, OP texted Olive to tell her to stop interfering in his marriage. She texted back, “if I don't like that she is helping Natalie build some standards and making her question things, maybe I could try being a better husband to her.”
OP then told Olive that her obsession with his marriage is unhealthy and that her process of interviewing for dozens of foreign companies so she could continue her behavior bordered on “insane.”
She replied that OP was showing signs of paranoia and that he should seek psychiatric help. She said Natalie comes to her for advice, and she “simply answers her.”
OP says he knows how Olive can be and knows that she keeps pushing and pushing. He also said that, while he knows he's right, he's questioning his approach. He says he could have been more “cultured” in his response. On the other hand, he admits that he thinks Olive is “acting…insane.”
Here's What Reddit Thinks
@notlucyintheskye thinks OP's issue is “way above AITA's pay grade.”
“NTA. This is also way beyond AITA's pay grade. You need to sit down and have apparently several conversations with your wife — a handful about money management, a couple about WHY you keep a separate account, and a few about not inviting outsiders into your marital decisions.”
@SelectRecord767 thinks Olive and Natalie both have issues.
“NTA. Natalie needs to understand that she has to keep some things in the house. You both should have similar dreams … if not then converse among yourself about what you guys want together. Olive seems like an interfering individual who should be happy with her marriage and leave you guys alone. Somehow I am not clear why is she obsessed with you in particular as supposedly she changed her job to be like you.”
Redditor @LionThunder1 thinks Natalie has a thing for OP.
“NTA. She is wayy out of line. Especially since the reason Natalie doesn't have access to that money is because she spends a lot, not because you didn't want to. And that money goes into buying a house, which will belong to the both of you. That woman needs a life. Start interfering with her marriage too, see if she likes it. My guess is that she wants you and wants to drive a wedge between your wife and you.”
In The End
Regardless of the issue at hand, OP and Natalie clearly have some complications to work out. What would your next step be if you were OP?
Read the full story here.
This article is produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.