Friendships can be complicated when dealing with significant life events such as weddings. Sometimes, the stress of weddings can cause all kinds of problems. One person in an online forum is wondering if her level of drama is a bit much. She decides to ice her friend due to the wedding drama. Is she wrong?
The original poster, OP, got married a while back. Around the same time, her friend got engaged. OP asked this friend to be a bridesmaid at her wedding.
OP assumed that when her friend's wedding came around, she'd also be tapped as a bridesmaid.
A couple of months back, OP's friend asked her to pick a color for something, and OP assumed it was for wedding particulars. Feeling the need to clarify, she put the question to her friend.
OP's friend informed her that she wasn't going to do traditional bridesmaid stuff but that she still ‘wanted to get her girls some things.'
A couple of weeks ago, OP saw on Instagram that her friend's maid of honor and a mutual friend had posted their bridesmaid boxes and assumed her friend was just waiting to see her in person before giving OP hers.
Too Much Work?
Fast forward to later that same week, and OP gets a Facetime from her friend. OP's friend said that she was initially going to do the whole bridesmaids thing as I did but that she just felt overwhelmed by it.
The friend supposedly didn't like the idea of traditional bridesmaids. Instead, she wanted to make the three people planning her bachelorette/bridal shower her “bridesmaids” and that she wasn't doing all the traditional stuff.
She apologized for being so back and forth about it and if she gave me the wrong idea. She claimed she envisioned something smaller for her wedding and didn't need much help from all her friends. She said she still wanted me to be part of everything- like the bachelorette party.
OP admits that she was ‘super hurt' by this admission and told her friend as much. Then she decided to RSVP a ‘no' to her friend's wedding invitation, and when her friend texted to ask her about it, OP ignored her.
OP now plans on icing her friend out of her life. OP's husband told her she was wrong for responding the way she did and that her friend didn't do anything wrong.
They had a huge fight over it because OP doesn't think her husband should be taking her friend's side.
No Support for the Bride-to-Be?
User @IncomeAppropriate525 thinks OP is definitely in the wrong.
“You’re in the wrong – so she doesn't want to have a traditional bridal party, and now because that's what you wanted from her, you won't support your close friend’s wedding at all?
Seems very all about you and not at all about your friend who is the one getting married.”
@DiceNinja thinks OP needs to check herself. “You’re wrong. You understand that as a woman old enough to get married, there are people she’s known longer than 2 years / is closer to than you, right? You had her for a bridesmaid, which is great, but this doesn’t obligate her to reciprocate.
It’s her wedding. If you’re not going to be there for her on her big day because there isn’t enough YOU in it, you’re not a good enough friend to invite in the first place.”
Redditor @candycoatedcoward agreed. “This. You are acting like a spoiled child. But honestly, go ahead and skip the wedding. It sounds like you don't really care about her very much, so the relationship is less of a loss to her than it is to you.”
In The End
All friendships go through change over time, and sometimes through circumstance, those friendships come to an end.
It sounds like this one has reached that point. What do you think OP could have done differently?
This thread inspired this article.
This article is produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.