I Don’t Care About What Gwenyth Paltrow Eats in a Day, and Here’s Why You Shouldn’t Either

If you think this is the most you’ve ever heard from celebrities, you’d be right. But celebrity news and our obsession with it is nothing new. Marie Antoinette was constantly the victim of 1700s gossip, raving bout her newest hairstyle or expensive piece of jewelry.

The dawn of the internet brought even more awareness of celebrities. Now we hear every thought of every star who exists. Have you ever wondered what Paulie Shore thought about fishnet tights? I haven’t! But I’m sure the answer is somewhere on the vast interwebs.

This brings us to Gwyneth Paltrow. An Oscar winner for her work in Shakespeare in Love and a pivotal part of the Marvel Universe, she’s as much a permanent A-lister as one can get. Her parents are famous too, making her a certified nepo-baby. Because she’s a massive celebrity, she is constantly interviewed about every facet of her life. When asked about her diet and exercise routine on a podcast, she answered that she skips breakfast, has soup for lunch, gets an hour of exercise a day, uses her personal sauna, and then eats dinner early.

Gwyneth Paltrow's Diet Is Newsworthy, I Guess?

Of course, the internet got ahold of this interview and all hell broke loose. Even Yahoo! Life posted the most treacherous headline possible: “Gwyneth Paltrow’s bone broth diet is joyless, sad and world’s away from ‘wellness’”

There’s something unnecessary about this — and I’m not just talking about the misplaced apostrophe.

Paltrow is no doubt a textbook almond mom; a new term used to describe moms who eat small meals in order to maintain their thinness. However, this routine that’s been lauded as “unrelatable” isn’t some caviar-infused champagne bath with gold garnish to taste. Gwen skips breakfast. She enjoys soup. She eats dinner early. Is this routine “joyless?” Maybe.

But it’s also, dare I say, pretty normal.

Many people like to skip breakfast and fill up on soup for lunch. While most people don’t have a private sauna, many aspire — and succeed — in getting one hour of exercise a day. Not me, but you get the picture.

I’m not saying that the MCU’s Pepper Potts has the most normal routine for the average working-class Joe. I guess what I’m not getting is…why do you care what she does?

Now, I know what you’re thinking; Alexandria, you just hate celebrities. That’s not true! I understand the allure of celebrity. I used to work at a late-night show where I saw celebrities all the time, and even occasionally got star-struck. I remember talking to famous musicians, actors, and comedians about their lives and their journey. But I have never once asked them what they ate in a day, except for polite curiosity about where they went for lunch.

I understand that certain people exist in the public eye to try to be a beacon for others. Malala. Michelle Obama. Tony Hawk. But if we hold these people in such high regard that they aren’t allowed to be “unrelatable”

…are they even allowed to be people?

Gwenyth Paltrow, or however you spell her name, should not be the ordinary person’s ideal of how they should live their lives. Neither are the TikTok influencers or the beautiful Victoria's Secret runway models. I’m not saying she’s not smart or worth listening to. But if you’re looking for Gwenyth Paltrow to supply you with the guidance you need to go through your everyday life, you’ll find that much of it just isn’t relatable. Maybe you work a night shift and can’t skip breakfast. Perhaps the closest thing you have to a sauna is an apartment with no A/C (been there).

But if you keep waiting for GOOP to deliver some excellent advice to live by, you’ll be left waiting. She’s just a good actress. I know good actresses. But I also know good teachers and plumbers, and I know who I’d prefer to ask for life advice.

There's Only One Person You Should Take Life Advice From

It’s always inspiring when your heroes say the right thing. As a Marvel nerd, I love seeing Chris Evans stand with BLM, and I was annoyed at Evangeline Lilly’s awkward stance against vaccines. I want the celebrities I like to reflect the beliefs and life that I’ve lived, but that’s not always tenable. Aside from assumptions that directly affect the livelihood of others, such as racism, homophobia, transphobia, or misogyny, maybe we should just let celebrities enjoy whatever makes them happy without calling them “joyless” or “unrelatable” (even if it is). There’s a thin line between celebrity gossip and just being mean.

I know what you’re thinking. Alexandria, don’t we owe it to the next generation to monitor the discourse of society and ensure that we’re creating an inclusive world for our next of kin?

And to that, I say: “Stop using those big words, and say it in smaller words.”

And then you’d politely rephrase: We owe it to our daughters to create a world where almond moms are extinct.

And to that, I’d say, “… Okay. That’s a pretty good point.”

I, for one, would love to live in a body-positive future. I’d love to wake up every day not thinking about my body weight, only what fuel I need to give it to take me on whatever adventures I was going on that day. I’d love to treat myself to whatever meal would make me happy instead of what meal will make me feel bloated the next day. I want to do everything possible to create a world where my waistline matters less than all those big words I just used. I was there when Jameela Jamil threw the first brick at the diet industry, and I look forward to when the newly formed Ozempic dynasty comes crumbling to the ground.

In the meantime, I think we should allow Gwen to eat her “joyless” lunch in peace. She never said, “This is what I think you should do to lose weight.” Someone asked her about her routine, and she responded.

She’s an actor. An entrepreneur. But she’s not who makes my decisions for me. Only one person is in charge of how I live my life.

Oprah.