Assisting those in need is a kind gesture. Still, it is vital to consider the fine line between being helpful and being a nuisance. One needs to make sure not to overstep boundaries and become a burden. It is a delicate balance to strike, but it is worth finding the right approach.
Reddit user u/Ancient-Top288 wants to know if he’s wrong for snapping at a woman who tried helping his boyfriend.
OP and his boyfriend are from the same town. However, they attend different universities, keeping them apart from time to time. OP’s boyfriend had come home for the weekend to attend a friend’s birthday party.
After the party, the boyfriend returned to his parent’s home, as his train to school was not scheduled to depart for a few hours. Because of the strained relationship OP's boyfriend has with his parents, OP did his best to check in on him over text throughout the evening to ensure everything was fine.
Eventually, the train arrived, and OP got a text from his boyfriend, telling him he needed him and what platform in the train station he was on. OP hurried down to the station, as his boyfriend is on the autism spectrum.
When OP arrived, he saw a woman trying to help, but from his boyfriend’s reaction, she wasn’t doing much to improve things. OP said he,”got there as quick as I could, and when [he] found him, he was freaking out; it was a mix of a panic attack and a meltdown, and this woman was trying to help.”
You're Not Helping
She kept getting closer to him, not realizing that he was trying to move away from her. The woman then grabbed him, which made things worse. It was apparent to OP that his boyfriend was struggling even more because of this stranger.
As OP reached him, the woman tried stopping him from getting to his boyfriend, claiming that OP would scare him even more. Eventually, OP was able to get past the woman and reach the boyfriend. As he calmed him down, the woman tried getting close to them again.
This led OP to snap at the woman, stating that she was not helping and asking her to go away. He continues, “I don’t remember exactly. I was too focused on my bf.”
Once he was calm again, OP got him on the train, making sure his boyfriend knew to call him if anything else happened. As OP left the station, the woman came up to him again, calling him names, saying she was just trying to help.
OP apologized half-heartedly and told her that anyone could see she was stressing out his boyfriend more and that she needed to let go of her savior complex and let someone who actually knew what to do help.
Now, OP wants to know if he’s TA for reacting the way he did.
u/Starlabloom thinks OP is not the a–hole and was looking out for someone he cares for.
“NTA, you were trying to protect your partner, and you didn’t necessarily say anything wrong or offensive. You just told her how it is. She may have had good intentions, but she wasn’t being helpful.”
u/Hannahkelli also agrees with OP and believes he is NTA, with the woman only putting her intentions ahead of how the boyfriend was feeling.
“NTA. She prioritized her desire to be helpful over his well-being. She ignored the signs that her behavior was making it worse. She needed to be told to back off. I would have been more likely to give her the benefit of the doubt if she hadn’t been trying to touch him without his consent and trying to stop you from getting to him. Good intentions or not, her behavior sucked, and she is the AH for getting upset at you for calling that out.”
Dealing with people with disabilities requires a lot of selfless, patient, and delicate action. Here, do you think OP overreacted by snapping or, like Redditors say, was the woman trying to help more caught up in the idea of helping than in actually helping?
Read the whole story here.
This article was produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.
Boloere Seibidor, fondly called B.S. is a Nigerian-based writer and poet. Her favorite topics to cover include music, especially Hip-Hop, film, lifestyle, and fashion. She's been published by Feral Journal, Fantasy Magazine, The Temz Review, and most notably, Wealth of Geeks. She enjoys romantic dinners, movie nights, and touring new sites. When she's not writing, she's delving back in time to the underground world of Hip-Hop, watching TikTok, or visiting the cinema.