“One of the smoothest guys I ever met asked to borrow my pen while we were talking about work. He wrote something down, and then as we wrapped up our conversation, he handed me his number and told me I should give him a call if I ever wanted to hang out. I called him a couple of days later, and we spent the next couple of years hooking up,” a Reddit user fondly recalls one of the nicest first approaches she had received from a guy. That's how memorable a good first conversation can be for every girl. It is your opportunity to make a first and lasting impression.
Conversations Don't Come Easy
It can be nerve-wracking to strike up a conversation with anyone, but it can be more difficult to do so with a girl you find attractive. Without something to say, being in her company can be awkward. Smooth guys have a lot more success with the ladies. You shouldn't let your inability to strike up a conversation be the deciding factor in whether or not you have a shot with a girl you like. We're about to spill the beans on the tried-and-true methods that will guarantee a successful first chat with any girl. To help you get the conversation started, consider the following:
9 Ways to Talk to Girls
Want to talk to girls but don't quite know how to? Here are nine proven ways to help you talk to girls:
1. Bring Back That Confidence
Guys with confidence are admirable, appealing, and progressive. You want her to see you just like this. This is not the same as being arrogant. When you strike up a conversation with a girl, you must speak clearly and loudly. Stuttering or speaking with a trembling voice suggests you are nervous or gives the impression you’re being too careful. Try to relax and be yourself.
Take the initiative and steer the conversation in the direction you desire. If you have trouble speaking with confidence, you might need to practice a little. Speaking to others is an essential social skill. So learning how to have more meaningful conversations with others is not a waste of time.
2. Be Mindful of Body Language
Be aware of your posture, gestures, and facial expressions since they can convey just as much information as your words. Observe her body language as well. You should strike up a discussion with her if you get the impression that she's personable and open. If, on the other hand, she appears distracted or indifferent, you should probably wait for a better time. Timing can be the difference between a horrible conversation and a terrific one.
3. Maintain Eye Contact
This is crucial and relates back to the first idea about bolstering confidence. If you look around nervously or move your gaze frequently while you talk, people may mistake your timidity for lack of interest. Strange that you're unable to keep eye contact while conversing with someone you care about. She'll have no way of knowing that you are genuinely into her. Gazing down at her is also not the right way to do it, as you may make her feel uneasy. Look her in the eyes and smile with a relaxed jaw so that she perceives you as more appealing. Another rule of thumb is never to be the first to look away when you lock eyes with her.
4. Find Something You Have in Common
Finding a shared interest would be an excellent place to start a stimulating discussion. You'll need to observe carefully to solve this puzzle. Has she shown a particular color preference, for example, or is she a fan of a particular sport or TV show? You can quiz her on a book or song she's listening to. This accomplishes two goals. In addition to seeking a point of agreement, you are also expressing interest in her.
Not everyone has the gift of gab. It’s not out of place to consider some conversation starters you can use to break the ice and note them down so that they are easy to recall.
6. Be Funny
A well-placed joke or witty insight can help to lighten the mood and make the conversation more relaxed and delightful. For example, you could make a humorous statement about anything going on in your immediate surroundings. Or chat about anything entertaining that you both happen to notice. Just don't be that guy who says something you think is humorous and then looks at the girl eagerly, expecting her to laugh.
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7. Ask Great Questions
Questions are a priceless tool to start conversations. It gives you a chance to listen to her speak and get her opinion, which is an effective way to establish positive and healthy connections. Don't limit your questions to yes/no ones. Open-ended questions make for more expressive two-way conversations.
8. Find a Way To Keep in Touch
There will be more to talk about than can be covered in a single day. If you two hit it off, you'll have to figure out a way to stay in touch. The time to ask her for her number has come, or, as the opening story demonstrates, some girls would rather have you give them your number.
Alternatively, offer that you two become social media friends instead if she isn't comfortable sharing numbers. Try not to be pushy and respect boundaries by making sure she’s okay with the idea of connecting further. Doing so demonstrates that you're interested in getting to know her while also respecting her space.
9. Be Positive
Having the impression that she might not like you is one thing that puts you at a disadvantage. You want to think positively. Recognize that fear is normal. That irrational fear should drive your motivation to approach her and introduce yourself.
Our inclination to overestimate and exaggerate the possibility of a future interaction's outcome is often what causes us to feel anxious. Although it can be difficult to take, it isn't necessarily a bad thing if she doesn't like you. You also want to be with someone who is just as interested in you as you are in them.
Starting a Conversation With a Girl Over Text or Online: 3 Things To Note
Online conversations are a big part of our lives. Of course, in-person conversations and conversations over WhatsApp, Snapchat, Facebook, or Instagram are a little different. Here are a few things to note.
1. Follow Up Immediately
As soon as you get her number or make contact with her, you should send her a message. Though custom dictates waiting three days before following up, she might be more flattered if you contact her within the first 24 hours of your initial meeting. It demonstrates your interest in keeping in touch.
2. Keep It Short and Simple
Remember to reintroduce yourself and bring up an interesting conversational or laughing point from wherever you first met. Her interest will be maintained if your message has a playful tone.
3. Be Unpredictable
It's not necessary to start every text or online conversation with “How are you doing?” It might start with something utterly arbitrary. Possibly praise over something you noticed in her profile or a current event. Look for something that can prolong the conversation without ending it too soon. The secret to maintaining talks is to be creative about topics that will be entertaining to both of you.
4 Things To Avoid When You Start a Conversation With a Girl
A conversation is a two-way street. Ideally, all parties involved in a conversation should feel interested, invested, and respected. Considering all that, it is understandable if you feel weird to strike up a conversation and talk to girls. But, honestly, as long as you avoid the four following things when you talk to girls on WhatsApp or in real life:
1. Don’t Be Selfish With Conversations
It should be a dialogue rather than a monologue. Therefore, you shouldn't be droning on without considering how monotonous it is for her. You may come off as conceited or uninterested in what she has to say. The same holds true for text-based or internet chats. Give her room to speak and show interest in what she has to say. Don't interrupt when she speaks by paying attention.
Don't worry if there is some quiet time between you two. She might use that as an opening to strike up a conversation. You can even give her a chance to speak by humorously but directly remind her that it's her turn to lead the conversation. You've given her a fair opportunity to participate in the conversation, whether or not she accepts.
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2. Don’t Stalk
This point cannot be underscored enough. Stalking is never okay, whether it's in person or online. Understandably, you'd like to find out more about her, but you won't be able to do so until you get to know her better, which takes time. Recounting something you saw on her social media that she never shared with you would be unbecoming of you. Don’t do it.
3. Don’t Take Rejection Personally
Rejection is hard and difficult to accept. But this should not get to you or prevent you from reaching out again. It might just be a bad time. There might be other opportunities to connect better. Or she probably isn't the one. You should admit that compatibility is important to a successful relationship, and if you’re not compatible, there’s no need to force it. It’s probably for the best.
4. Don't Attempt To Impress
This isn't about you at all at this time. Don't make an effort to impress her by talking excessively about how great you are, how great your career is, how great your automobile is, or anything else that even remotely reeks of bragging.
How to Talk to Girls
When trying to start a conversation, you should know that there are many engaging topics to choose from. On a good day, conversations about things like entertainment, family, work, and sports tend to go over particularly well. However, some topics should be avoided at all costs to not ruin the fun. The most contentious topics are political, religious, and social. Avoid these discussions if you want your date to go smoothly and not end abruptly because of your disagreements in opinion. As soon as you master this, you'll be well on your way.
This article was produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.
Amaka Chukwuma is a finance and lifestyle writer with a real knack for the craft. She's been at it for over four years, making her mark on places like FinanceBuzz and The Buttonwood Tree, not to mention some cool collaborations with various brands. Her. Her work with Wealth of Geeks has been widely appreciated, with syndication across multiple platforms and publications. Amaka's got a BA in Linguistics. When she's taking a break from her writing adventures, you'll probably find her digging into some delicious pies or exploring the food scene. Want to see what she's up to or get a taste of her work? Hit her up on LinkedIn and Twitter.