Tit For Tat: Husband Cut Wife Off Finances, Should She Off His Groceries?

When two people come together, they bring with them their own unique perspectives on money. One person may be a spender while the other may be more prudent, or one may have more debt than the other. So it's no surprise that finances are one of the biggest strains on a marriage.

Regardless of the specifics, it's important for couples to have open and honest conversations about their financial situation to avoid misunderstandings, resentment, and other issues that can arise. Unfortunately, this woman and her husband still have issues they're trying to work out.

Making Room for Allowance

She and her husband are saving for a house. Unfortunately, they have very different ideas on how they're going to meet their goal.

Long story short, her husband decided that instead of having access to their primary bank account, she'll get a $400 allowance payment every two weeks. According to him, $800 a month is the amount of child support she'd receive if she were a single mom. With this, she's expected to buy groceries for the two of them, his daughter and hers, as well as pay for other household expenses and bills.

He also expects her to use whatever is left over on clothes for her daughter or hair appointments. More often than not, she has to save months to get things she knows they can afford.

Battling on a Budget

She finally went to him for help when she needed botox for tension headaches. This isn't a cosmetic procedure; it's something she goes to a doctor for. Something their insurance, unfortunately, won't cover. But her husband refused, demanding to know where she spent her money.

While $400 every two weeks may seem like a decent amount, it only goes so far when you factor in groceries, bills, and other necessities.

On the one hand, her husband wants to be practical and save money. On the other hand, OP wants to have some measure of control over her finances and not have to worry about every penny constantly.

So, she's considering cutting her husband off from the groceries and meals. If he wants to keep things divided, she'll keep things divided. But, she doesn't want to be TA.

The Public's Two Cents

One user thinks OP is in an abusive relationship and suggests she gets a job or some sort of hustle to support herself:

“He is financially abusing you. Please get a job of some kind and deposit 100% of that money in your very own account. One to which he has no access. NTA. But this relationship really doesn't seem healthy at all.”

u/Fatigue-Error thinks OP and her husband could talk things through. If she could make him see how her allowance covers very little, it would help them work things out instead of creating further tension in the marriage.

“That $400 child support payment would also assume you work full time. $400 is really tight for expenses for a family of three, even if he's still paying rent and utilities directly. And based on everything I've read here, child support is often based on what the non-custodial parent can afford. It's NOT based on what the custodial parent needs.

As part of a couple, you should also be aware of each other's expenses. You need a different way to budget; there are several out there.

Instead of tit for tat cutting each other off, talk this through.”

So, would OP be wrong if she made her decision? It's a tricky question. On the one hand, it may be a satisfying way to regain some of the power and control she's been missing. On the other hand, it could also create more tension and resentment in their marriage. What's your take on the matter?

This thread inspired this post.

This article was produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.

Boloere Seibidor, fondly called B.S. is a Nigerian-based writer and poet. Her favorite topics to cover include music, especially Hip-Hop, film, lifestyle, and fashion. She's been published by Feral Journal, Fantasy Magazine, The Temz Review, and most notably, Wealth of Geeks. She enjoys romantic dinners, movie nights, and touring new sites. When she's not writing, she's delving back in time to the underground world of Hip-Hop, watching TikTok, or visiting the cinema.