Emotions always run high when someone has died or is dying. Particularly if there's family discord to add to the mix. But would you be able to set differences aside to give someone a chance for closure before their death?
This is the question one man is grappling with after the backlash he's facing from his father for trying to bring the family together one last time. To find out if he's the “terrible person” his father claims him to be, the man turned to social media for advice.
Here's The Story
When his twin brother was severely injured in a car accident, OP knew there wasn't much time left for his brother. He
OP and his twin brother were extremely close, as is normal — especially for twins. OP's brother was severely injured in a car accident when he was hit by a distracted driver. These injuries caused him to have to be flown by helicopter to the nearest hospital and two days later, the brother was due to be taken off life support.
OP felt the need to text their father and inform him that his brother was dying and that their dad ‘should come to say goodbye.'
But OP admits that his parents have always hated each other. This bitterness escalated when OP's father married the woman he'd left their mother for.
OP tried repeatedly to get his father to come to see his brother, but his dad's only response was that he, “couldn't come to see him.” So, when OP knew his brother was about to pass, he took pictures of him. Afterward, OP sent them to his dad.
The first call he received from his father, after the fact, was his dad ‘SCREAMING' at him so, OP hung up the phone.
At the viewing, OP's father told him he'd hurt him more than anyone ever could and his father felt justified in telling people that OP is a ‘terrible person.'
Now OP is wondering if he's TA for sending the pictures to his father in the first place.
Here's What Reddit Thinks
@Missykirfoops knows what it's like to be in OP's shoes.
“NTA. They weren't pictures of a stranger, they were of his son, your brother. My sympathy to you; I've lost both a husband and brother to road trauma and it changes your life forever. 💔”
User @Thisisstupid202020 knows what it's like to have parents that put their hatred above their children.
“You’re thinking too highly of the dad. My mom and dad hate each other this much. They always put their hatred above their kids.”
Redditor @ThinConsideration948 understands where OP is coming from.
“I know how that is. My mother and I aren't close. My sister invited her to my college graduation. Dad saw her across the room and I got to watch him and my stepmom leave before my row made it to the stage.
She laughed when she told me afterward that she only came so he would leave. Sometimes I wonder which one will boycott my funeral if the other one is there.”
@Clutteredshovel wants OP that no one who refuses to see their dying child has any right to the ‘moral high ground.'
“You are sooooooo NTA. No parent who refuses to come see their dying child will ever have the right to an opinion or the moral high ground on anything.
He knows he’s a terrible father and that’s why he didn’t want to see photos. But too bad, he should have come to see his dying child in person. I’m so sorry he is your parent. I would never speak to him again.”
Redditor @armchairdetective84 thinks OP's mom should have banned his dad from the funeral.
“I wouldn’t have allowed him at the funeral after he refused to come to the hospital … I’m petty enough to refuse to say where I had him buried if I was OPs mom.”
In The End
No matter how much a child might want to influence their parent for the better, sometimes it just isn't going to work out. Do you think OP should have sent the photos to his father?
This article is produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.