Cooking can be a stress-inducing task, especially when it comes to preparing a meal for someone else. The effort and time that goes into planning, shopping for ingredients, and actually cooking the meal can be overwhelming. But sometimes, despite all of that effort, the final product can sometimes go unappreciated.
Cooking is a form of self-expression, and it's important to remember the joy it brings. For Redditor u/What_It_Izzy, however, it brought about something else.
Dinner Goes Sour
OP, a 31-year-old woman, spent the evening making dinner for herself and her boyfriend. She had spent a lot of time and effort creating a delicious pork tenderloin with apples, fennel, ginger sauce, brown rice, and a kale salad.
Her boyfriend got some soy sauce, looking to put it on the rice. OP asked him not to use soy sauce on the rice and suggested butter, lemon, and herbs instead. They would pair better with the other flavors of their meal. He immediately got offended and told her she didn't get to dictate what he did with his food.
But all OP wanted was for her boyfriend to try the dish her way. The more she pleaded with him, though, the more upset he got. The conversation quickly escalated to the point OP broke and told him — colorfully — to put the soy sauce on the rice.
Silence followed. He put soy sauce on his rice. She ate hers plain. They ate in silence, and then he went home.
Things Got Spicier
Her boyfriend called a couple of hours later, still very upset with how things had gone. He called her controlling, repeating what he had said earlier. It was his food and his choice of how he'd have it. OP argued that he was being stubborn and refusing to try something new.
OP told him to try it once, and if he didn't like it, he could have it however he'd like. But he refused outrightly, saying he just didn't want to try it. OP couldn't help but laugh at his attitude, which, she said, reminded her of the toddlers she had nannied in the past.
For some background, OP is an accomplished cook and takes pride in her meals. On the other hand, her boyfriend comes from a family that doesn't cook much and has limited experience in the kitchen. OP cooks all their meals, and in return, he usually washes the dishes. They have a good system in place, but this incident seemed extreme to OP, who had put so much effort into planning and cooking their meal. All she wanted was for him to try something slightly different from his norm.
While it is disheartening when your cooking is met with resistance or lack of appreciation, OP wants to know if she is TA for asking him to try something he doesn't like.
“Stop Being the Food Police,” Says Professional Chefs On Reddit
“Yta,” said one Redditor. They added:
“I don't understand why letting him eat his food how he wants to is a big deal. But ultimately, this is a breakdown of communication. You could have said, hey, want to try my rice? I'm putting XYZ on it. It's pretty good. Rather than telling him, ‘please don't put that on the rice,' that's a weird way to suggest something new if you were genuinely asking him to try a new way of eating it.
“But also, who cares if lemon, herbs, and butter would ‘go better' with your pork. It seems like a hill you shouldn't die on. It's so silly to even fight about this in the first place.”
u/No_Guarantee_6756 agrees that OP is TA. Her boyfriend is an adult and can have his meals however he wants:
“Yta. Stop being the food police. I have over 25 years of experience cooking a variety of food, which friends and family love. But I wouldn't ever feel like I can tell someone, no, you cannot add a condiment that you enjoy to your food…..stop being so controlling.”
It hurts when a cook thinks their food is being under-appreciated, or they put a lot of effort into a meal and the person they make it for wants it differently. Still, there are right and wrong ways to go about every situation. Do you think OP was being the “food police”? How would you have handled the case?
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This article was produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.
Boloere Seibidor, fondly called B.S. is a Nigerian-based writer and poet. Her favorite topics to cover include music, especially Hip-Hop, film, lifestyle, and fashion. She's been published by Feral Journal, Fantasy Magazine, The Temz Review, and most notably, Wealth of Geeks. She enjoys romantic dinners, movie nights, and touring new sites. When she's not writing, she's delving back in time to the underground world of Hip-Hop, watching TikTok, or visiting the cinema.