Sometimes, gifting requires one to put effort into finding the perfect present. Some people are good at coming up with the best gifts, while others are not.
Still, when one person puts in a lot of effort to giving a gift, sometimes they expect the other person to put in the same level of commitment in giving them a present.
Recently, someone online has been in a gift-giving conundrum with their partner. We’ll call this person OP. OP’s love language is gift-giving, but it seems her partner isn't willing to go the extra mile for her.
OP and her boyfriend, who have been dating for four years, are going through a rocky patch in their relationship because of his betrayal. However, after they went for counseling, she decided to give the relationship another chance.
Every good relationship is worth fighting for. And counseling suggests many ways to fix problems. One way to keep the flame alive is to pay attention to each other’s love language.
Her boyfriend's love language includes random acts of service, while hers is gift-giving.
To make things easier for both, they made an online wish list with items of all price ranges, so they would know exactly what to give each other as gifts.
Her boyfriend claims he hates shopping, even though he spends a substantial amount of time on eBay.
At least they made things easy for each other by creating a wish list. But apparently, even that wasn’t enough for her boyfriend to act on.
She complained that her boyfriend hardly got her anything from the wish list. He just ended up getting random stuff for her. The gifts were so random that she felt like he got them for someone else and gifted them to her instead.
That is the worst feeling in the world.
He also bought the gifts at the last minute, even though he had plenty of time and money to plan.
It’s almost like there’s no effort on his end.
Did she force him to do counseling?
A Necklace for Valentine's
Valentine's Day came, and OP gave him two gifts he wished for.
You’d think he’d do the same, seeing as it was the most romantic day of the year. Nope.
He got her a pair of gold hearts with zirconia earrings. He got it a day before when he was going to pick her up from the supermarket.
They were pretty, but they also looked like they were for teenagers. Plus, she wears long gel nails, so putting them on would be a battle.
Last Minute Gift
OP feels guilty for not liking her gifts, but can we blame her?
She is also disappointed in his last-minute gift shopping, and when she mentioned it, he became defensive.
He finally agreed to change it to something easier for her to put on, which wasn't what she wanted. Nevertheless, she tried to make him understand that the gift from him would mean a lot to her.
The options he had from the list that were of the same price range weren't much, so her boyfriend opted for some even smaller earrings. She already felt guilty for complaining the first time, so she let it go.
But she didn't fully let go because she was still sad that he didn't try to pick a gift for her, even with the wish list. So, was she wrong to complain?
OP May be Hard to Please
Viewers online chimed in to offer their advice.
u/your-yogurt doesn't think that OP is wrong. They also think that when it comes to giving gifts, it's the thought that counts, “NTA. part of gift giving is ‘the thought that counts,’ but often in these lessons, there has to be thought put into it from the giver as well…”
u/SirMittensOfTheHill talked about the importance of communication in relationships and how she could give him gentle feedback, “NTA. Communication is important in every relationship, so if you consistently aren't happy with the gifts your boyfriend gives you, you absolutely need to give him feedback.
Do NOT give feedback when angry or crushed, wait until you're calm and then provide factual feedback … It should be feedback, not a venting session.”
u/CoxBJT f shares a different perspective from the crowd. They think OP is being too hard to please.
“NAH. You’re wanting him to change his personality style and speak your love language. It’s just not ever going to be natural for him. You also seem a little hard to please — only wanting something from your list and even judging how long ahead of time it is purchased…”
Viewers have offered their opinions and advice, but in the end, only she can decide what to do. She needs to have a deep conversation with her boyfriend before it becomes a bigger issue.
What’s your say?
A thread inspired this post.
This article was published and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.
Boloere Seibidor, fondly called B.S. is a Nigerian-based writer and poet. Her favorite topics to cover include music, especially Hip-Hop, film, lifestyle, and fashion. She's been published by Feral Journal, Fantasy Magazine, The Temz Review, and most notably, Wealth of Geeks. She enjoys romantic dinners, movie nights, and touring new sites. When she's not writing, she's delving back in time to the underground world of Hip-Hop, watching TikTok, or visiting the cinema.