Lady Ignores Her Sick Boyfriend and His Pity Party for a Merry One

A core part of a relationship is being there for your partner in difficult times. But how does one do that when their partner is unreasonable or even manipulative about a situation?

A lady, we’ll call her OP, found out that her boyfriend was diagnosed with anemia. While she was trying to be there for him, he was being difficult and trying to make her feel bad for not changing her plans for him.

Here’s the story from the start.

Doctor's Appointment

OP works in event planning, so she always gets invites and tickets to events. So, she was excited about a huge event she was supposed to attend with her boyfriend and stepsister.

She had cleared her schedule for the day and made plans for it.

But on the day of the event, her boyfriend remembered that he had a doctor's appointment on the same day.

This annoyed her. The event was something she was looking forward to attending with him. The least he could do was ensure he was available that day.

Bad News

He went for his appointment. Hours later, he texted her that he had something to tell her. Worried that something terrible had happened, she called him.

She was right. Something bad had happened. So, perhaps, it was best that he didn’t miss the appointment.

He told her he had been diagnosed with anemia and would have to start taking supplements. Trying to be supportive, she expressed how sorry she was. She was on the call with him for the next two hours, giving him pep talks and reassurances, making sure he was all right.

She asked if he was still up for the event, which would take his mind off of things, and he said he didn't like the performing artists and would rather attend another event.

He didn’t even decline because of his illness but because he didn’t like the artists. To me, that seemed insensitive, considering she’d been looking forward to it for weeks. Scratch that, months.

Still, OP claimed she didn't mind and told him she would attend the event with her stepsister.

But she thought that it could have gone smoother. Her boyfriend got upset and ended the call. When she called him back, an argument ensued. The argument was because she had the “guts” to still want to go out when her boyfriend wasn't okay.

She tried to explain that she had already made plans with her stepsister months before and couldn't just back out. She promised to meet with him the next day and ended the call.


OP and her stepsister got to the event and tried to have a good time. Fighting off negative thoughts while trying to have fun can be challenging, but she managed it.

The event ended, and she got home around 2 am. Then she called her boyfriend, only to discover he was still awake, playing video games.

Funny enough, he complained about how she had gone out to a party and left him when he needed her. But he was so “sick” that he stayed up until 2 am playing video games.

Now, OP is wondering if she shouldn't have attended and stayed on the phone with him instead.

Boyfriend Needs to Check-up on His Maturity, Not Health

It’s obvious that OP is not to blame in this situation. Others online share the same sentiment. Her boyfriend is being a jerk, and she needs to realize how wrong he is.

Someone said, “When I saw the title, I expected it to be cancer, some kind of degenerative disorder, or something requiring major surgery.

Anaemia is generally a completely treatable condition that has no impact on quality of life. Unless the doctor referenced a concern about a more serious condition, it's reasonable to assume that supplements are all that's needed.

It sounds more like he's using it as an excuse to get out of something he didn't want to do, then taking it a step further to try to manipulate you. NTA.”

Another person suggested that OP should take the time to examine her boyfriend's maturity.

“…He basically threw a huge pity party, and that continued until you called him later. I would take this as an opportunity to examine his emotional maturity and how he treats you.

It sounds to me like he can easily make you feel bad and guilty about things you shouldn’t feel bad nor guilty about, and he took up two hours of your time earlier on the phone because a doctor told him to take vitamins. He sounds like he’s immature and craves your attention, and he doesn’t care about your happiness.”

Finally, this person believes that only selfish people call out others for being selfish.

“NTA. Often when someone is calling you out for being selfish, it's really them who is being selfish in the situation. Unselfish people don't make a fuss, they just go with the flow. He was 100% being a baby. He didn't get a death sentence.”

Take a Step Back

OP might need to step back and evaluate her relationship before forging ahead. Her boyfriend wasn't diagnosed with a life-threatening illness, so she isn't bad for not changing her plans.

Is he being manipulative?

What do you think?

A thread inspired this post.

This article was produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.

Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock.

Boloere Seibidor, fondly called B.S. is a Nigerian-based writer and poet. Her favorite topics to cover include music, especially Hip-Hop, film, lifestyle, and fashion. She's been published by Feral Journal, Fantasy Magazine, The Temz Review, and most notably, Wealth of Geeks. She enjoys romantic dinners, movie nights, and touring new sites. When she's not writing, she's delving back in time to the underground world of Hip-Hop, watching TikTok, or visiting the cinema.