Knowing how to communicate and have uncomfortable discussions with friends and loved ones is an underrated skill many people struggle with. But knowing how to talk can go a long way in solving issues. So, people need to have or learn these essential life skills.
Someone online found herself in a complicated communication situation with her best friend. We’ll call her OP.
Here's the story.
The Birthday Bash
OP's best friend, Sophie, decided to throw a birthday bash.
OP has a history with one of Sophie’s friends, John, and Sophie has been trying to get them together because she thinks they have a lot in common. And matchmaking isn’t going out of style anytime soon.
OP said she wasn’t in the right place and didn’t want to be in a relationship, so nothing had happened between her and John.
They flirt occasionally, but it’s never anything serious, and neither has a problem with it.
Stealing The Spotlight
On Sophie’s birthday, all her friends celebrated at a fancy restaurant. John was driving, and OP couldn't take her eyes off him. However, he did clean up well, and she’s only human.
She was going through a lonely time and could feel herself wanting to spend time with John.
Maybe it was loneliness. Or perhaps it was her realizing John was more than she thought he was. Well, the chemistry was kicking in hard. And it came with force.
At Sophie’s birthday dinner, they sat beside each other, holding hands, cuddling, and making out at the restaurant. It went from zero to one hundred – fast.
Of course, this made the people at the table who came for Sophie's birthday bash pay more attention to the kissy couple. They even made comments about how good they looked together.
OP only realized that Sophie had reservations about all this the next day. Sophie texted that she felt terrible that everyone paid more attention to her and John while she felt unwanted at her party.
It hurts to feel like you’re not the center of attention at your event, especially your birthday. The one day in 365 days that celebrates you.
Sophie wanted to talk about it over the phone so that they could move past it, but OP felt overwhelmed and unsure how to respond. So, she texted a mutual friend to tell Sophie that she (OP) would get back to her later.
Sophie didn't like that. She was furious that instead of OP telling her, she left her on read through a mutual friend.
OP is still unsure how to feel, so she’s wondering if she’s wrong for how she acted.
People are not pleased with OP in this case. They think she’s a lousy friend for acting the way she did.
One said, “YTA. Since when is it normal to sit at a restaurant making out when you're with a group of people?
I think there's a difference between ‘my friend is okay if I start seeing this guy' and you guys being all over each other at her party, knowing it would draw attention away from her when she never really celebrates.
Also, you had another friend reply to her because you're ‘overwhelmed' that she's rightfully upset with you. Everything she said was spot on, you sounded self-absorbed.”
u/MrJeanPoutine believes that a restaurant with their mutual friends, who are there for her best friend's birthday, is not the right place and time to do what she did.
“There's a time and place for everything. This wasn't the time or place to do what you did.
So, in the middle of your friend's birthday party, you decide to have multiple make-out sessions at the table. Regardless, if it was a birthday party or not, that's just poor form, particularly in a group. Almost nobody wants to see that while they're eating, yet at the same time, it's attention-grabbing – like when people drive slower, gawking at a car accident.
Then you can't even talk to Sophie directly afterward, using a third party instead.
Some way to treat your best friend. YTA.”
The Right Decision
The case isn’t looking good for OP. She's wrong for making out with John at Sophie's birthday bash — imagine how awkward Sophie must have felt.
Also, she texted a friend to tell Sophie she wasn't in the mood to have the conversation when she could've done it herself. That is disrespectful.
Now, OP has to decide what to do. Of course, the right decision is to apologize to her friend. But right and wrong are subjective.
What would you do if you were in her shoes?
A thread inspired this post.
This article was produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock.
Boloere Seibidor, fondly called B.S. is a Nigerian-based writer and poet. Her favorite topics to cover include music, especially Hip-Hop, film, lifestyle, and fashion. She's been published by Feral Journal, Fantasy Magazine, The Temz Review, and most notably, Wealth of Geeks. She enjoys romantic dinners, movie nights, and touring new sites. When she's not writing, she's delving back in time to the underground world of Hip-Hop, watching TikTok, or visiting the cinema.