Am I Wrong for Challenging My Girlfriend’s Claims About Sexism at Work?

Working in the tech industry is a challenging experience. It is a real struggle with changing times and people losing their jobs constantly. However, it is a lot more difficult for women in tech. This story follows a young couple navigating women's difficulties in the field.

Jake and Ann

We'll call the man Jake and his girlfriend Ann for the story. With a combined five years in the industry, Jake and Ann were both highly qualified to work in the industry. Jake has a Computer Science and Math degree, while Ann has hers in Electrical Engineering.

Big Promotion

Recently, Jake was promoted to a senior level at his company while she was still a junior at hers. Sadly, after a recent performance review, they did not promote Ann and only told her to take on more challenges.

However, she felt they did not allow her to and always asked her to hand over projects to other people.

Sexism Or Room For Improvement?

Jake believes that sexism exists in the industry but also thinks she should recognize that she has room for improvement.

Her degree is also more hardware-focused, so performing in a software-dominated environment might be challenging. However, Ann didn't like it when he made this known to her. I mean, who would?

He's Not A Woman

One person thinks Jake will never truly understand the struggle as he isn't a woman. Women put in just as much work studying in the same field, only to quit after years of working because their efforts feel moot.

A Woman In A Male Industry

Men are often consistently dismissive of women, especially when it is a subject in which they believe they are supposed to be inherently better.

Ann was asked to take notes, despite her 4.0 CGP, which is hurtful. If she felt like they were dimming her light, the least he could do was try to be supportive instead of taking both sides.

There's No Room For Improvement

While Jake thinks there is room for improvement, Ann barely has any chance to show her skills as they hardly ever hand her tasks, regardless of her skill.

If there's no chance to see how good she is, how do they even know she needs improvement? How do they know what she's capable of?

Support System

Of course, Jake needs to be more supportive, another person thinks, rather than just admitting that there is sexism in the industry.

If she already feels that way, he should be her support system, even if there is nothing he can do to help. Telling her to use some “elbow grease” is insensitive.

Women Should Be Heard

A third contributor, who also is a woman in the field, complains about how difficult it is for her to have her voice heard.

Everyone else pays little attention to her input, and she barely has a word put in. They can't see past her gender. Many other women suffer from similar cases daily, and it feels like nothing is changing.

An Engineer, Before Anything Else

Ann is an engineer, and that is no joke. She's put in the time and effort to learn her craft, and that's all that matters.

Her skills are pertinent, not the fact that she is a woman or that it is a male-dominated field. She's an engineer before she is anything else.

Underplaying Sexism

Finally, someone thinks Jake is terribly wrong for underplaying sexism, even though he sees it. Considering how much of it happens in real life, on television, and even in his workplace, it should be clear to Jake, especially when his girlfriend complains about it.

However, since Jake doesn't work in the same office as her, he may not understand the true scope of things. Some think he doesn't fully grasp things and can't make the proper judgment. Or is that just an excuse?


Ann was barely handed any projects, to begin with, and when she was given them, they took them off her hand before she could even start them. It is unfair — things like this lead society back to a time of prevalent inequality.

In this story, what do you think they can do to curb sexism in their workplace? And what do you have to say about Jake's attitude?

This thread inspired this post.

This article was produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.

Boloere Seibidor, fondly called B.S. is a Nigerian-based writer and poet. Her favorite topics to cover include music, especially Hip-Hop, film, lifestyle, and fashion. She's been published by Feral Journal, Fantasy Magazine, The Temz Review, and most notably, Wealth of Geeks. She enjoys romantic dinners, movie nights, and touring new sites. When she's not writing, she's delving back in time to the underground world of Hip-Hop, watching TikTok, or visiting the cinema.