Husband’s Failure to Defend Wife Sparks Family Feud: Who’s to Blame?

OP's mom gets Christmas gifts for her grandkid and step-grandkid, but it seems his wife and stepdaughter are not very happy about the gift she (stepdaughter) gets and this causes an issue at home.

Here's What Happened:

42-year-old Redditor u/aitaaccount457 has a 17-year-old stepdaughter (Liz) from his wife's first marriage. They also have a three-year-old daughter (Emma).

OP says Liz refuses to call him “Dad.” Instead, she calls him “Mr.” He says it used to bother him but he figures that is what she feels comfortable addressing him with, so he let it go and does not push.

His side of the family could not get together over Christmas. Instead, they had a late Christmas/New Year‘s gathering. This is where the offending event happened.

OP's mother gives the three-year-old some toys and, for 17-year-old Liz, she brought a sketch pad. For context, OP added: “Liz's sketch pad was significantly less expensive than the toys and things the other kids got, but it is something she'd use and not a random item.”

Still, the big difference in gifts made Liz and OP's wife upset. His wife went so far as to tell OP's mother that she shouldn't have given gifts in front of Liz. Naturally, OP's mom is not happy with this confrontation from her daughter-in-law. She feels she went out of her way to be nice to Liz, despite Liz not seeing OP as, “any kind of father figure.”

OP's mom says if Liz has issues with the gifts she gets, she should go ask real father for one, which may have been a step too far. Liz's father is dead.

Chaos ensues. His wife calls his mom out for having no respect for her or her children. OP steps in and tries to calm things down. While he tells his mother she's being “a little harsh,” he tells his wife that she's getting upset for no reason.

OP thinks he is not wrong and the majority of his family members support him. But his wife is still upset and OP wants to know if he is TA.

Redditors Reply

Most Redditors reply in the affirmative, saying OP is TA.

u/bonesxandxcoffee says,

“Based off the additional op comments, yeah YTA, and so is your mother. Liz is 17, and was given a cheap sketch pad that probably isn't even the grade/value she normally uses, whereas everyone else had meaningful, thoughtful gifts. Your mother needs to keep out of your family dynamic with that ‘ask your real father' bul***it. Obviously there's a reason Liz doesn't. And you can't expect someone you've known for a handful of years to call you dad just because you're with their mother. It sounds like both you and your mom hold resentment against a young adult that is literally just being polite.”

The user makes an edit to their comment saying,


u/Educational-Split372 adds few words:

“MONSTER is putting it nicely. There are so many words, none of which are even close to describing the level of horrendous this is…”

Another Redditor u/No_Education_4771 comments on OP's post saying,

“Holy Cr*p! YTA a million times over. You say you’re not bothered by it but apparently you’ve b***hed and complained enough to your mom that mommy dearest has taken up the offense for you. Congrats, your stepdaughter will now never call you anything other than Mr. A-hole! I feel so sorry for her and for your wife. How awful to have to live with you and know you’ll never have their back.”

Another user u/mmmkay0510 has this to say,

“This makes his remark in the post about being bothered that Liz doesn't call him dad all the worse. Liz lost the man that she called dad. That grief is profound. On top of that, OP is expecting her to tack on a feeling of guilt that she is calling someone else dad. OP needs to step back, take a seat, and read the GD room.”

It seems Redditors are not in support of OP, but how about you? What are your thoughts?

Here is the full story.

This article was produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.

Boloere Seibidor, fondly called B.S. is a Nigerian-based writer and poet. Her favorite topics to cover include music, especially Hip-Hop, film, lifestyle, and fashion. She's been published by Feral Journal, Fantasy Magazine, The Temz Review, and most notably, Wealth of Geeks. She enjoys romantic dinners, movie nights, and touring new sites. When she's not writing, she's delving back in time to the underground world of Hip-Hop, watching TikTok, or visiting the cinema.