When two single parents get together, it might become a bit complicated regarding how you treat the children, so it doesn't seem as though one parent is giving their kids more attention than their partner's kid. It can get pretty hard sometimes, but if your partner is worth it — and they should be, you married them — then putting in the effort to make things work should be the barest minimum.
Reddit user u/picklejuice4044 got into an argument with his fiancée because she took her daughters out and left his ten-year-old daughter (Charlie) all alone at home.
That sounds like something that would get trouble brewing.
The First Issue
OP and his fiancée have been together for about four years. She has shared custody of her two daughters, aged 12 and 15. His fiancée moved into his place in September, and there was no issue until they discussed bedroom arrangements in November.
OP's fiancée wanted her eldest daughter to have a room of her own (which would put Charlie out) while the younger girls shared a room. OP didn't let that fly because he felt Charlie might feel alienated in her home.
I would understand his fiancée wanting her eldest daughter to have her own room because girls need their own privacy and safe space as they grow older. On the other hand, Charlie, OP's child, may feel like a queen being kicked off a throne.
Who Leaves a 10-Year-old Alone at Home?
Now, OP went to work for a 12-hour shift, and when he returned, Charlie reported to him how his fiancée took her daughters out to eat and left her at home.
Asides from being home alone, knowing her step-sisters-to-be were out having fun while her father's fiancée left her home must have hurt her feelings, regardless of what his fiancée's reasons were.
They returned with a stone-cold bag of takeout for her. Half a bread is better than none, right?
When OP confronted his fiancée about this, she confirmed Charlie's story. She had taken her girls out to an early dinner and then to play mini golf. According to her, that was the reason the food was cold. It was in the car while they were playing golf.
I would have left out the “golf” part because do they really need to know how much fun I really had?
OP noted that she kept deflecting to the food, saying that she had expected Charlie to warm it up before eating. But OP believed that it was rude of her to exclude Charlie from the outing with her daughters. That's fair, in my opinion.
However, she retorted, ”But I brought her food home.”
OP was then asked, “Why is it ok for you to go out with just Charlie?”
He explained that in the past month that her daughters have been around, he only took Charlie out twice; for grocery shopping and to take her cat to the vet. Which is nowhere close to what OP's fiancée did.
Even though he may not mention it, something like this can be a pretty big deal and cause slight complications. It may also make the child feel less loved than the others — which is the last thing any woman wants in a new home.
Fast forward a few days later, OP's fiancée was taking her daughters out to see the dentist, and on her way out, she made a petty comment,
“I hope this doesn’t offend Charlie too.”
I know you're hoping she didn't really say that, but she did.
It hit a nerve in OP, and he called her feral. They both apologized later on, but the initial argument was back on. OP's fiancée said it was rude of OP to have an issue with her for taking her kids out.
I think the fiancée is missing the point here.
OP understood where she was coming from, but he would prefer if they periodically planned separate outings on the same day, so no kid would feel left out. She made a bunch of comments, including the one about her daughters not having an issue with her having alone time with Charlie when they are with their dad.
She also said that it wouldn't be the last time Charlie would be excluded because of the age gap between Charlie and her eldest daughter.
Despite the age gap, there are activities that could work for them all. Also, it's the thought that truly counts. Charlie may want to feel that she matters as much as the other girls, and OP may just want to ensure that she feels that way.
“Stand Your Ground”
Reddit has so much to say about the case. u/thirdtryisthecharm thinks that both OP and his fiancée are handling the issue poorly.
“ESH. Obviously your wife is handling this poorly. However, so are you. Treating Charlie as her own child does NOT mean including Charlie in everything.”
u/missy20201 replied to this comment,
“Even though your point is right, it was still s—y to leave the 10-year-old home alone all day and then bring back cold food that sat in the car during their golfing. They couldn't have at least stopped at a drive-through on the way home and brought her warm food? They definitely need to coordinate more going forward.”
Other users conclude that OP's fiancée is at fault. And given the evidence, they wouldn't be wrong to think so. They advise OP to stand his ground and keep on pressing the issue.
OP would have to decide if this is a red flag or not and make a decision about it. However, leaving a 10-year-old at home all by herself raises eyebrows, don't you think?
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This story was produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.
Boloere Seibidor, fondly called B.S. is a Nigerian-based writer and poet. Her favorite topics to cover include music, especially Hip-Hop, film, lifestyle, and fashion. She's been published by Feral Journal, Fantasy Magazine, The Temz Review, and most notably, Wealth of Geeks. She enjoys romantic dinners, movie nights, and touring new sites. When she's not writing, she's delving back in time to the underground world of Hip-Hop, watching TikTok, or visiting the cinema.