Parents are naturally inclined to advocate for their child's fair treatment, regardless of age. One of the most important ways parents can advocate for their children is by standing up for them when others, including other family members, may not treat them fairly. This can be a particularly challenging task for parents, as family dynamics can be complex and emotionally charged. Family members may have their own biases, opinions, or even personal agendas that can clash with what a parent sees as best for their child.
Reddit user u/Routine_Ad_3217 wants to know if she's wrong for standing up for her child, regardless of what everyone else wanted.
Toy Cars
OP's son and her nephew, both three, are sixteen days apart. OP's son is able to name every single car he sees on the road, despite the fact that he is unable to read or write. He is pretty smart for his age, and OP encourages his hobby by buying him little models of cars every month, looking to keep him engaged in it.
OP's nephew is also a smart and good kid, but he doesn't seem as invested in cars as her own child.
The last time OP met with her brother and sister-in-law, her son and her nephew played with her son's toys. At the end of the visit, OP's nephew ended up taking home one of her son's toys on accident. But anytime OP has asked for the toy to be returned to her son, her nephew begins crying.
She would've just let her nephew keep the toy, too, if her son hadn't specifically started asking about it. Finally, her sister-in-law helped sneak the toy back home without OP's nephew noticing.
Not only was OP's son happy to be reunited with his toy, he even suggested giving his cousin a different toy. OP told her son that was okay as long as he knew he wouldn't be getting the toy back.
Car Betrayal
However, as OP's son played with the now-returned car, her nephew rejected the new toy that was offered to him. He wanted the car. Then, the rest of the family chimed in, saying OP's son should give the other boy the toy car back, but he refused.
“My whole issue with it is we should teach kids at a very young age to not take others' stuff,” she wrote. “They can easily buy a new one, but they kept expecting my child to give up his car because their child cried.”
OP's husband wasn't of much help either. He began convincing his son to give the toy up, or he wouldn't speak to him again, using emotional blackmail to coerce the kid into doing what he didn't want. Eventually, their grandfather switched out the cars without OP's son's knowledge.
Her son was utterly devastated when he realized what had happened, breaking into tears from the betrayal. OP took matters into her own hands, took the toy from her nephew, and returned it to her son. Then she ordered for another to be given to the nephew. After the actions, no one spoke to OP, resulting in tension between both sets of parents.
When OP and her child left, no one said goodbye to them. To her, it's more about principle than the toy itself. However, she still feels odd for taking a toy out of a three year olds hands. OP wants to know if she's TA for how she handled things.
It's HIS Toy, Reddit Decides
Redditor u/CyrianaBights thinks OP is NTA, and gives a compelling response with a lesson for everyone.
“NTA. Your son clearly enjoys HIS toy, and you both came up with an acceptable alternative for allowing your nephew to keep a toy you'd bought that he took. Your family just expected you and your son to give up your possession because the nephew wanted it? No. That's silly – the world doesn't work that way.
Your family is falling into the very common practice of teaching kids that they are not allowed to say no to each other and are required to share everything anytime someone asks for it. They're even resorting to being sneaky, which breaks trust and teaches lying/dishonesty. Sharing can be negotiated after a certain amount of time or timers used to teach fairness/equity.
By no means do you have to teach your child that he must give up his belongings to anyone – even family. Boundaries are encouraged, and it is good to learn the lesson early that no is a complete sentence and deserves respect (barring health and safety concerns). You are definitely NTA.”
Redditors share the same opinion that OP is NTA, but do you? Do you think she should have handled it differently?
Read the main story on Reddit here.
This article was produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.
Boloere Seibidor, fondly called B.S. is a Nigerian-based writer and poet. Her favorite topics to cover include music, especially Hip-Hop, film, lifestyle, and fashion. She's been published by Feral Journal, Fantasy Magazine, The Temz Review, and most notably, Wealth of Geeks. She enjoys romantic dinners, movie nights, and touring new sites. When she's not writing, she's delving back in time to the underground world of Hip-Hop, watching TikTok, or visiting the cinema.