Losing a loved one has to be one of the most painful things ever. The loss can leave a void in one's life that takes a long time to fill. It's way worse when a parent loses their child; no term describes the pain.
Naming a child after a late relative is common in some cultures. In other climes, it's considered inappropriate and, sometimes, forbidden.
In this story, OP (who the story is about) is pregnant and wants to name her unborn baby after her late nephew, who passed away recently in an accident. She's unsure how her sister will take it.
Having a Baby
The loss of a child can affect parents in diverse ways. For example, grief can alter their appetite, weight, sleep, and ability to focus and make them experience intense emotions.
OP's sister lost her son a month after OP and her husband found out they were pregnant. They have not told anyone about the pregnancy yet, and the accident that took her nephew couldn't have happened at a worse time.
She isn't close to her sister, but she has tried to be the best aunt to her nieces and nephews. This has made the news of her nephew's passing hard on them, too.
Gone Too Soon
OP was having a hard time, but she and her husband wanted to do something nice for his parents, who were going through a rough patch.
The nephew was an avid gamer, and she was a fan of his streams, where he would always respond to her comments even when he ignored texts and calls.
She thinks honoring him by naming her baby his gamertag as a nickname would be special. However, she has yet to speak to her sister (the mother of her late nephew) about this plan.
OP has some reservations about the name, but she can't tell her sister (yet) because of the grief she is going through. OP is still determining if her plan is a good idea. People might not want to call her baby by that nickname.
Now, she wants to know if her plan to name her baby after her nephew is terrible. How would OP's sister take the gesture? It might go well, and she finds it very sweet. But, on the flip side, it might go haywire, and she won't see it as OP intends. It sounds like a risky situation, especially as the parents are still grieving.
What People Think
Some people online think OP is terrible for even thinking about doing this, and others feel she's the sweetest sister ever, but only if she talks to her sister first.
One believes that OP being wrong depends on how she goes about the idea: “If you make sure you speak to your sister, then you're NTA… If you do it without approaching her then my answer would change.”
u/RaqMountainMama thinks that OP should take a chill pill and give it time, preferably until after she gives birth: “I think it would be wise to wait until right before your child is born to ask your sister – let her grieve a bit more. Don't put her thru the anxiety of a potentially high-risk pregnancy with a baby who is named after her child. Also, you have to be 100% ok with no for the answer.”
OP might have to pause her plan for a few more months, so her sister has the time to grieve, and she can focus on her pregnancy.
We can't decide if she's right or wrong. But even though she does not have a close relationship with her sister, she is trying to change that through her nephews and nieces.
Hopefully, she will talk to her sister and makes the right decision.
A thread inspired this post.
This article was produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.
Featured Image Credit: Roman Samborskyi/Shutterstock.