Nurse Wonders if She’s Wrong for Correcting BIL’s New Wife on Her Health Issue

Mental health is a difficult topic to approach at the dinner table.

That doesn't stop people from discussing it, however, and one Reddit user is wondering if she's in the wrong.

Here's The Story

Redditor @Numerous_Life_399 laments that her husband's brother recently introduced his new wife to the family. According to OP the new wife, “Hannah” has BP which she does not use medication to manage.

OP disclosed that she also has BP, but as an RN and social worker, she manages her condition with medicine.

A few weeks back, OP was at the dinner table for a family meal that included BIL and Hannah. OP's husband and other family members were also present when Hannah brought up her health issue.

He said that their ‘small talk' conversation eventually escalated as Hannah started getting louder and using her hands and arms to express herself.

It wasn't a problem at that point as OP says the family is loud in general. OP says the issue came up when Hannah got angry.


OP says that while he wasn't rude in any way, he did feel the need to correct Hannah's misinformation.

He quietly added, “actually mania comes in all forms and is not limited to BP.. Even people with brain tumors have been known to have episodes.”

Apparently, Hannah immediately said he was ‘wrong' and that her doctor had told her this particular ‘fact' about BP.

OP stood firm and said that even after pulling up a text to refute her point, Hannah wouldn't read it.

When Hannah wouldn't consider his point, OP turned to his husband (who hadn't been paying attention to their conversation – according to OP) and said, “Hunny, you're a doctor, what causes Mepisodes”.

Hannah was apparently very upset and said they were just trying to ‘one up her,' adding that she, “”knew what she was talking about”.

OP's husband immediately replied with, “obviously not if you're going to sit here, argue and gatekeep symptoms of illnesses against two medical professionals.”


Hannah started crying and said OP tried to embarrass her, ‘for no good reason except her pride.'

Now BIL is saying OP should have just ‘shut her mouth.' and now OP isn't sure how she handled the issue was the right way to go about it.

Here's What Reddit Says

User @SamSpayedPI thinks OP is definitely NTA.

“NTA I hate it when I'm having (what I think is) a strictly academic discussion with someone, and they start to take it all personally.”

User @Glittering_knave seemed to agree, saying, “…I don't think OP is the AH, per se, but I also don't know what their end goal was. The wife was highly unlikely to change her mind, so what was the point in arguing?”

Redditor @scpdavis was wondering how OP could have missed how her SIL was acting. “…OP is an RN and a social worker – they should absolutely be attuned to when it's time to let someone rant and when it's appropriate to make academic corrections.”

They went on to add, “Especially because, even though her statement might have been incorrect, I'd bet that she was trying to communicate how frustrating it is when people use “mania” to describe non-M events.”

Should Have Known Better

Another user @GhostlyNyte thought OP definitely should have known better. “This person was in the middle of an outburst. If OP thought that was an academic conversation then they truly have no idea what they’re doing.”

User Boeing367-80 felt OP was definitely NTA. “NTA. Hannah's diagnosis does not give her a license to rearrange reality as she sees fit, and she brought up the topic in the first place.”

Another Redditor @Betrayed_Orphan agreed, adding, “Exactly!! NTA!!

My former DIL is also bipolar, and often before she became medicated, and even while medicated she could go from calm and academic into full M mode in the blink of an eye. It is my completely unprofessional opinion that there are just some bipolar people who swing that hard that fast.”

It's common, even in a lowkey setting to get hyped about something you're passionate about. It seems both OP and her SIL did this at dinner. Would you have pushed so hard to try and ‘educate' the SIL, or would you have let it go, noticing her irratic behavior?”

You can catch the whole Reddit story here.

This article is produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.