A 54-year-old Reddit dad has two kids with his 52-year-old wife. They have a 23-year-old daughter and a 21-year-old son.
His generous parents set up education funds for both of their grandchildren. He and his wife had expected their kids to go to college and, later on, graduate school, and to them – because he has a Ph.D. and his wife has a Master's – the plan made sense.
They decided against using the funds for their kids' undergraduate degrees and kept the money away from them.
His daughter had always been leaning towards the liberal arts, while his son was more into STEM programs. He and his wife had been worried about their daughter's ability to get a job, but she insisted on going to school to study music and film in college.
His daughter got accepted into some top schools and decided to attend an expensive one. She also landed scholarships that covered almost all of her tuition, while everything else was her responsibility.
She was able to get a small apartment she shared with her friends off-campus in a not-so-nice area. After that, she finished school (without the education fund) and got a job. Though it didn't pay the huge bucks, she didn't mind because she enjoyed it, and that was the end of the idea of attending graduate school.
On the other hand, his son went into engineering, but he, too, had no intention of attending graduate school.
The Dad, who is the original poster, OP, said he and his wife were disappointed, but they accepted it since he already had a good chance of getting a good job when he completed school.
This is the part where the story gets complicated. According to OP, his son didn't receive as many scholarships as his daughter, so they (he and his wife) decided to use his education fund to cover his tuition and living expenses.
His son was able to get a nice apartment alone, close to his school. OP said this was important because “his classes are so demanding, and he needs a comfortable space to work.”
OP's daughter got confused when she saw how well her brother lived. When she inquired about how he could afford everything, he told her about the education fund for the first time.
What About Her Fund?
His daughter called and asked about hers, and they told her about the education fund and how they didn't use hers because they were hoping she would attend graduate school.
OP said his daughter seemed hurt and asked if she could get hers. OP replied, explaining:
“There would be a fee to simply withdraw the money for non-education uses, and if we chose to do that, it would belong to her grandparents so they could put it towards their own use.”
He said that she had been quiet and short when replying to their texts and had not answered their calls since then.
OP concluded by saying, “I know that it seems unfair to her, but it's not really her money in the first place, and she's no longer in college. Plus, her brother only received it for educational purposes, and it wouldn't be right for her to just have it to spend now.”
Life Isn't Fair
They think that OP and his wife are jerks.
User u/Dinosaur_Doctor said, “You're in the wrong, and I'm surprised between your Ph.D. and Masters degrees, you couldn't figure that out.”
Another user, u/kindcrow, was not giving OP any chance. The user believed they judged their daughter based on her educational choices, “And the worst part was that the daughter was PUNISHED for getting scholarships and had to live in a bad area with roommates while the son had a nice apartment on his own in a good area.”
“Part of this is, I believe, judgment against her choice of going into the humanities as opposed to her brother who went into engineering (and the implication that his studies were more rigorous).”
“The other part of this is their misogyny. They believe their son is more important than their daughter.”
User u/ugh0000000 commented in straight-up disgust:
“So let me get this right…your daughter attended college and had a scholarship. Your son attended college with no scholarship. You chose not to let your daughter use her college fund for everything her scholarship didn’t cover, and you let your son use his for everything. The college fund you said “wasn’t even her money” but isn’t yours either!! What exactly do YOU plan to do with HER college money? I'm disgusted by this.”
Do you think the parents are wrong for doing what they did?
This thread inspired this article.
This article was produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.
Boloere Seibidor, fondly called B.S. is a Nigerian-based writer and poet. Her favorite topics to cover include music, especially Hip-Hop, film, lifestyle, and fashion. She's been published by Feral Journal, Fantasy Magazine, The Temz Review, and most notably, Wealth of Geeks. She enjoys romantic dinners, movie nights, and touring new sites. When she's not writing, she's delving back in time to the underground world of Hip-Hop, watching TikTok, or visiting the cinema.