Have you ever fantasized about quitting your job in a spectacular, boss-like manner? You may have even rehearsed your dramatic exit speech in the bathroom mirror with finger snaps and a hair flip. Well, get ready to live vicariously through these seven people who said “I quit” with style. From a marching band to a resignation cake, these resignations will have you laughing, cheering, and maybe even taking notes for your grand exit. So sit back and enjoy the show.
1. Bad Bosses Bring Bonuses
Do you ever feel you're being used and not appreciated enough? Yeah, well, this lady was a program director working for her company for a year. With a ton of work given to her, she always asked for a smaller workload or a junior partner but never got it. Eventually, her boss called her in and gave her an ultimatum. Stay and become his secretary, or they must let her go.
Seeing how badly things were about to go, she checked in with her other job. She asked if she could take on more hours, and once she got confirmation, the lady went back in and told her boss that she would clear out her desk by noon. He asked her to stay for a week to at least train the next person, but she refused. A day later, an internal audit showed they owed her $3000. Talk about a resignation package.
2. That's The Way The Office Crumbles
It's always challenging being the glue that holds things together.
One contributor was called in by her new boss, who was giving a hard time to everyone. She had asked for a raise, but the boss refused. When she finally put in her notice of resignation, he called her in and asked her for a list of the things she does, as he “has no idea what she even does for the firm.”
When she returned the list to him, he backtracked, saying, “We're going to need maybe four people to handle all of these.'” They fired the boss four months after she left, as the office fell apart.
3. One Last Gift
Darren was not the most likable boss, so his employee left him a little gift as a final act of rebellion before quitting: some duct tape, a fish, and a few weeks of slowing rotting stench. The employee taped it underneath his desk, which was pushed against the wall.
Darren would realize something fishy was happening, but imagine his surprise, huh?
4. It's a Party in America
Who needs consequences? Sometimes, you want to go out with a loud bang; the office's walls will forever remember it.
One employee, who had definitely had enough, pulled out all the stops, ordering cake and drinks to the office. He shared it with his friends and coworkers, and everyone enjoyed the treat, unsure of what was happening. The boss wasn't thrilled with the impromptu party, but she took a bite of the cake when he offered.
She asked what the party was for, and he replied, “My going away party. You're invited.”
5. The Wages of Employment
It's illegal for your employer to ask you not to disclose your pay to others in the US, and that was precisely what these guys did.
So, after quitting, he spoke with his boss to ensure that what he used to take home would be split among those left behind, as they would take up the work he'd left, and it would only be fair if they got a raise. The boss coyly tried to tell him not to disclose how much they paid him, but he told his coworkers so that they wouldn't get screwed over.
You guessed it; the boss tried to underpay them, and instead of losing just a single worker, they created their very own exodus.
6. The Retelling of The Retail Tale
Those who work in retail should have reserved parking in heaven because they deal with the worst of humanity daily.
During a Black Friday sale, one employee, who already had a better job, but only kept the retail one as they enjoyed the benefits, got embarrassed by his regional manager. With a large store crowd lining up and filling the aisle with purchases, the manager decided that moment would be the perfect opportunity to lecture him on handling the customers.
After three minutes of publicly humiliating him, the employee removed his apron and hung it around the manager's neck, looking him dead in the eye. “You seem to get the hang of it. Good luck,” he said.
7. Freelance Finesse
A freelance employee who had moved into a new place had gotten a job at a large retail store. He needed the job for a few months until he settled into his new home and could return to working with his clients. He talked to his boss, letting him know he would quit in three weeks and would like to take Friday off.
However, the boss wasn't having any of it and was quite ticked off that he was quitting. The boss argued and told him he would come to work on Friday, no matter what. The freelancer ended his stint there with the immortal line, “You are misunderstanding this as a conversation and not a notification.”
Now, that's one way to say goodbye.
8. Packing a Punch
After working for a few months for a package delivery company, an employee requested unpaid time off. They looked at the employee like they were crazy and said they didn't do that there. That was the employee's last day there. A forum member suggests the way the conversation should have gone. The business says, “We don't do that here.” The employee responds, “Well, now you do,” and slaps down two weeks notice letter.
9. When Principles Take Flight
A mechanic at a commuter airline refused to sign off a plane for pre-flight inspection even though the boss insisted. The boss told the employee that he needed to sign if he wanted to keep his job. In response, the employee thought, “Then, I guess I don't work here anymore.” and picked up their toolbox and left.
No wonder why we have so many delayed and canceled flights now.
10. An Exit Loophole
Many jobs have strict data protection policies, so when employees, so when someone quit, the company shuts down account access immediately. But they don't disclose that if giving a two-week notice, the company would still pay for the next two weeks even though the employee didn't have work to do. However, if you just quit, effective immediately, they would walk you out and wouldn't pay you for the next two weeks. Several people figured this out, including one who gave a two months notice. They walked him out and paid for the two months and his accumulated PTO. This person joked that he should have given six months' notice.
11. Tax Tricks Busted
One respondent worked for a consultant business doing shady things for tax purposes. The company was not paying the respondent for travel and changing their place of residence to an apartment they owned in another city where the work was so that they could write off $5000/mo for housing when it was listed as significantly less on the respondent's paycheck.
After the company refused to change its ways, the respondent reported them to the Federal Reserve Board. For the past 20 years, it turned out that the business was doing the same thing to many of its seasonal workers. The owners had to sell the company to pay the tax evasion penalties.
12. Game On
One contributor was so frustrated with their boss that they lost him a big deal with another company by walking away at a critical moment. In fact, the contributor walked right to the arcade across the street.
In response, another person asks, “You told him about your high score though, right?”
13. Submerged Keys, Emerged Freedom
A commercial construction superintendent needed more support and was thrown under the bus after pointing out several deficiencies in the project, which were all ignored. Their 30 years of experience meant nothing compared to their 3-5 years in the industry.
One evening, on a whim, the superintendent restored their laptop, tablet, and phone to factory settings and, the following day, removed all their personal belongings from the site trailer. Then, they locked up the trailer, sent a nasty goodbye message, and tossed the keys into a retention pond.
Boloere Divine Seibidor, fondly called B.S., is a Nigerian-based writer and poet. Her favorite topics include music, especially Hip-Hop, film, lifestyle, and fashion. She's been published by Feral Journal, Fantasy Magazine, The Temz Review, and most notably, Wealth of Geeks. She enjoys romantic dinners, movie nights, and touring new sights. When she's not writing, she's delving back in time to the underground world of Hip-Hop, watching TikTok, or visiting the cinema.