As Phoebe once said, “Okay, before we get started, I want to say, for the record, that I love Ross. I think he's such a great guy.”
It's no secret that Ross and Rachel were a beloved couple on Friends that was on and off again throughout the series. Here are fourteen (count them!) reasons the fans believe Ross was unfair and toxic to Rachel.
1. Ross Should've Ended Up With Phoebe
One fan of the show thinks Ross should have ended up with Phoebe, and we aren't mad at the idea. Their oddball-unique natures would make them a solid pair, aside from the fact Ross always seems to be annoyed with her… but obsessed with Rachel.
2. The Gellers Are Spoiled
Sorry, not sorry. One member says that Ross was and is spoiled, in a way that would never let Rachel live her own life. He has a perfect image of how things should be, and won't budge when opposed.
3. His List of Reasons
“The list of reasons not to be with Rachel,” one said.
“Whether they were on a break or not, he slept with someone hours after being with Rachel. When I was younger, I always thought they were the ultimate goals, but now I'm in my early thirties, I see them as being very toxic as they bring out the worst in each other. Mondler, all the way.”
4. Her Getting off The Plane
“Ross could have had that fantastic breakthrough moment where he realizes that to be with Rachel and Emma. He needs to make a sacrifice and move to Paris with her, quitting his job. It would have been a great way of showing how he recognizes her career as necessary and more important than his own. But no. Dumb Rachel got off the plane,” another Friends fan-voted.
5. The I Hate Rachel Green Club
One user reminded, “Let us not forget that he had an I HATE RACHEL GREEN CLUB in high school, where he spread a terrible rumor about her! Like, what?”
Another agreed, ‘Yes, just cause Rachel isn't showing interest in him. Typical Ross Gellar outburst!”
6. Hiding Her Phone Message
“The plot about him hiding her message from the guy at the bar drives me NUTS,” one Friends fan admitted.
“I respect Rachel for how angry she gets about it. It's so grossly possessive and unhinged. They're not in a relationship and haven't been in years. Yet, he still has fits and treats her like he owns her and no one else can have her.”
7. Playing The Victim
One person confessed, “The episode where they went skiing ticked me off. Ross kept playing the victim and guilting the rest of the group and lied to Carol about his cheating (he alluded Rachel cheated instead), then went there and said nasty things to Rachel.”
“Even when Rachel says yes to Phoebe asking if they could be civil around each other, Ross passive-aggressively says, I can– which is so gross. I can't believe everyone else kept saying they couldn't take sides after he claimed Monica and Joey were on his side.”
8. “We Were on a Break!!”
Another Friends fan replied, “Ross's ultimate jerk moment towards Rachel was when he finally did get her back. Right after they made love, Rachel ranted about how happy she was to be back with Ross and how happy she was that he took full responsibility for their break up (18-page letter FRONT and BACK that he didn't read).”
“Then, for him to yell at her and scream, ‘WE WERE ON A BREAK!!' Ross should have listened to Chandler. He got what he wanted, which is better than just wanting to be correct.”
9. He Didn't Trust Rachel
Speaking of that infamous break, can we talk about Ross' trust issues?
Mark made it very obvious that he was into Rachel, but Rachel never did anything about it since she was with Ross. Meanwhile, 12 hours into their break, Ross is already with somebody else.
10. The Desk Picnic and Fire
“Ross is annoying, obsessive, controlling, and inconsiderate with Rachel, especially when he brings a picnic to her office, causing fire and distraction!” a viewer exclaimed.
“But, then, he thought he was entitled to an apology from Rachel. He then criticizes Rachel's job even though he knows it was Rachel's dream after struggling as a waitress. I get that it was their anniversary but is that enough reason for his actions?”
11. He's Abusive and Manipulative
“Rachel indeed sabotaged Ross romantically,” one admitted.
“BUT Ross constantly undermines Rachel in all aspects of life: trying to get her to stay in NYC by talking to her Boss at Ralph Lauren, hiding the message from the guy at the bar, the whole annulment thing! Rachel has her faults, No doubt. But Ross is at an abusive level of manipulation and possession.”
12. Once a Cheater
“Ross was in the wrong. Rachel said, ‘Maybe we need a break from us.' He spins on his heel, says nothing, and leaves, then has adult relations with someone else hours later,” one fan cried.
“They were not on a break. Ross messed up. I've made some dubious sexual decisions, so I'm not judging, but Ross was in the wrong. We all know Ross has been in love with Rachael since ninth grade. You want to be with THEM when you love someone, not some random copy chick. It was a power move. He was mad, and he acted out. Stop making excuses, people.”
13. He Acts as Superior
“Ross can't let anything go,” one fan said. “Even in the episode, they talked about how Rachel exchanged all the gifts. He puts himself over his children. For example, the male nanny predicament, the pediatrician, and the Barbie doll! Ross repeatedly thinks he is superior to his sister and his friends.”
I'm not sure how lying to Rachel about getting the annulment after getting married in Vegas wasn't its bullet point on this list, but alas, what do you think?
14. Ross Was Holding Rachel Back
Remember how Rachel was finally able to obtain her dream job? She'd be financially independent, able to pay Monica for living expenses, and have everything in place.
Then here comes Ross, ready to put a wrench into all those plans so she could be at his beck and call. Did fans online get this right, or was Rachel the toxic one in the relationship?