10 Reasons Ross Was Unfair and Toxic for Rachel on Friends

To quote Phoebe, “Okay, before we get started, I want to say, for the record, that I love Ross. I think he's such a great guy.”

It's no secret that Ross and Rachel were a beloved couple on Friends that was on and off again throughout the series. Here are ten reasons the internet believes Ross was unfair and toxic to Rachel. 

1. His List of Reasons

The List
Image Credit: Warner Bros. Television Distribution

“The list of reasons not to be with Rachel,” one said.

“Whether they were on a break or not, he slept with someone hours after being with Rachel. When I was younger, I always thought they were the ultimate goals, but now I'm in my early thirties, I see them as being very toxic as they bring out the worst in each other. Mondler, all the way.”

2. Her Getting Off the Plane

“Ross could have had that fantastic breakthrough moment where he realizes that to be with Rachel and Emma, he needs to make a sacrifice and move to Paris with her, quitting his job. It would have been a great way of showing how he recognizes her career as necessary and more important than his own. But no. Dumb Rachel got off the plane,” another Friends fan-voted.

3. The I Hate Rachel Green Club

One user reminded, “Let us not forget that he had an I HATE RACHEL GREEN CLUB in high school, where he spread a terrible rumor about her genitals! Like, what?”

Another agreed, ‘Yes, just cause Rachel isn't showing interest in him. Typical Ross Gellar outburst!”

4. Hiding Her Phone Message

“The plot about him hiding her message from the guy at the bar drives me NUTS,” one Friends fan admitted.

“I respect Rachel for how angry she gets about it. It's so grossly possessive and unhinged. They're not in a relationship and haven't been in years. Yet, he still has fits and treats her like he owns her and no one else can have her.”

5. Playing the Victim

One person confessed, “The episode where they went skiing ticked me off. Ross kept playing the victim and guilting the rest of the group and lied to Carol about his cheating (he alluded Rachel cheated instead), then went there and said nasty things to Rachel.” 

“Even when Rachel says yes to Phoebe asking if they could be civil around each other, Ross passive-aggressively says, I can– which is so gross. I can't believe everyone else kept saying they couldn't take sides after he claimed Monica and Joey were on his side.”


Another Friends fan replied, “Ross's ultimate jerk moment towards Rachel was when he finally did get her back. Right after they made love, Rachel ranted about how happy she was to be back with Ross and how happy she was that he took full responsibility for their break up (18-page letter FRONT and BACK that he didn't read).”

“Then, for him to yell at her and scream, ‘WE WERE ON A BREAK!!' Ross should have listened to Chandler. He got what he wanted, which is better than just wanting to be correct.”

7. The Desk Picnic and Fire

Ross is annoying, obsessive, controlling, and inconsiderate with Rachel, especially when he brings a picnic to her office, causing fire and distraction!” someone exclaimed.

“But, then, he thought he was entitled to an apology from Rachel. He then criticizes Rachel's job even though he knows it was Rachel's dream after struggling as a waitress. I get that it was their anniversary but is that enough reason for his actions?”

8. He's Abusive and Manipulative

“Rachel indeed sabotaged Ross romantically,” one admitted.

“BUT Ross constantly undermines Rachel in all aspects of life: trying to get her to stay in NYC by talking to her Boss at Ralph Lauren, hiding the message from the guy at the bar, the whole annulment thing! Rachel has her faults, No doubt. But Ross is at an abusive level of manipulation and possession.”

9. Once a Cheater

“Ross was in the wrong. Rachel said, ‘Maybe we need a break from us.' He spins on his heel, says nothing, and leaves, then has adult relations with someone else hours later,” one fan said.

“They were not on a break. Ross messed up. I've made some dubious sexual decisions, so I'm not judging, but Ross was in the wrong. We all know Ross has been in love with Rachael since ninth grade. You want to be with THEM when you love someone, not some random copy chick. It was a power move. He was pissed, and he acted out. Stop making excuses, people.”

“And if the only thing keeping you from sleeping with someone else is that someone didn't pick up a phone call, you are doing what's best for you, not the relationship. Ross was looking for an excuse to force the issue.”

10. He Acts as Superior

“Ross can't let anything go,” one said. “Even in the episode, they talked about how Rachel exchanged all the gifts. He puts himself over his children. For example, the male nanny predicament, the pediatrician, and the Barbie doll! Ross repeatedly thinks he is superior to his sister and his friends.”

I'm not sure how lying to Rachel about getting the annulment after getting married in Vegas wasn't its own bullet point on this list, but alas, what do you think?

Did Reddit get this right, or was Rachel the toxic one in the relationship? Also, check out the ten most despicable characters on The Big Bang Theory.

This article was produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.