They've been together for two years, and every single time she becomes sick, her boyfriend starts complaining about being so much sicker than her. For example, when she had tonsillitis, he suddenly was dying from tonsillitis. When she had a UTI, he was suddenly dying from a UTI. Every single time she gets better, he magically gets better too.
She got very sick in December and was in bed for all of Christmas.
She was upset over missing the holiday and couldn't even complain about it to him because he was suddenly dying sick with the same thing, but it was somehow “worse.” This virus had her bed bound for four days, and he went out the previous night drinking with friends and even went to work the next morning but insisted he was just as sick as her. She doesn't know how to get him to stop driving her mad.
This has been the happiest relationship of her life, but this is one problem with it. He doesn't run for the hills when she gets sick. He tells her he also feels off within 24 hours of her saying so. Her boyfriend is a hypochondriac who thinks he's after getting the same illness that she has, and it's driving her nuts. He goes above and beyond in every other aspect of their relationship. She needs to explain to him that it annoys her without being unsympathetic. She recently had a chest infection, and he thought he was after getting one off her as well hours later. He very likely did.
Redditor Noegg_sit found it weird and said: “Even for people who aren't the most doting romantically, taking care of someone when they're sick is like the most practical show of affection. It's super easy to help someone with a cold/UTI/basic infection, and it's also the bare minimum.”
They continue, “After all, what does it entail? Making tea, ordering in or doing some basic cooking, one extra trip to the grocery store (or delivery, it's that easy), making sure you're stocked with tissues and any medication and being generally helpful.”
The even bigger red flag for this than him being selfish and wimpy during a cold Noegg_sit noted, is the UTI and tonsillitis thing. UTIs are rare for men to get until they're senior citizens, and the odds of you both having tonsillitis and a UTI at the same time, resolving at the same time, basically guarantee he's not being truthful and doesn't understand how to lie convincingly either.
The Redditor concludes that the fact that he's not even trying to take care of her and pretending he has a worse illness tells multiple things at one time:
- He's willing to lie. This is probably whenever he feels it benefits him and definitely when he experiences this deep need to be the more prominent victim, get attention or suffer more.
- He won't care. Even if this behavior changed a little, she might have to fight for every inch of dignity and basic care. No one should be in a relationship with someone who they have to fight for basic care and respect.
- This behavior will probably show up in other areas. That's if it hasn't already. The fact that the lies are so obvious and so tightly correlated with his girlfriend suffering an illness makes it seem like this deep need is somewhat pathological. Getting treated this way when she's sick is bad enough, how about work? Social situations? No thanks.
FlyingSpaghettiFell commented that while she may not be ready to end things, doing it isn't jumping the gun. It's realizing a future with him isn't what she wants. She could try if she wanted, but she needs to set a hard rule and the consequences of breaking that. Write it down. Then leave when he breaks it because he will.
ConvivalKat shared the gift of the best relationship advice their Mom ever gave them: “Anything that bothers you now will only bother you ten times more in six months,” and admonishes her to stop walking on eggshells and just TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT.
“Pick a time of non-sickness, tell him that his hypochondria bothers you, and ask him to get some therapy. Or don't do it and just live with accepting this part of his personality,” they said.
What do you think? Should she talk to him or just break it up?
You can read the original story on Reddit here
This article was produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.