In today’s society, socioeconomic status can often be a sensitive topic, especially among friends. It often highlights the importance of understanding and respecting other perspectives and experiences. This is a reminder that socioeconomic status can be a complex and sensitive topic that should be approached with empathy and open-mindedness.
However, for one college student, Redditor u/richbishthrowaway243, the topic became a source of tension with a friend from her dormitory.
How It Went Down
As an 18-year-old college student, OP had always believed that friendship knew no bounds, including socioeconomic status. Growing up in a neighborhood where everyone was from a similar background, OP had never given much thought to a person’s financial situation when it came to making friends. However, this all changed when OP met Amy in college.
Amy once mentioned to OP that she isn’t as well off as everyone else, stating that her family makes about $36,000 total. However, OP did not care about her financial metric and only cared about their friendship and nothing else. While Amy was just as good as any friend could be, she had an issue with OP’s wealth.
Amy would often make backhanded comments about OP’s financial status. She would make statements about how she could get takeout or go out to eat once a week. At some point, Amy off-handedly mentioned that people from OP’s high school used to drive Porsches to show off. Amy wasn’t okay with that and made a snide comment about “Rich people.”
At one point, OP and Amy had gone out to buy groceries. OP had suggested they split the cost of the eggs, and Amy responded, saying that OP would have to pay for it because she was rich. Recently, a mutual friend called Pam asked OP and Amy to accompany her to a jewelry store. They both agreed to come along, and when OP and Amy got to the story, Amy decided to go get some food a few blocks down.
OP thought nothing of it, and they asked that Amy meet them back at the store.
“Get Over Yourself”
Fifteen minutes into their time at the store, OP and Pam get a text that she was standing outside. Considering that it was snowing, OP responded, asking her to come inside, but Amy refused.
A few minutes later, OP left Pam and headed out to find Amy. However, once she spoke to Amy, she responded saying, “Poor people aren’t able to even enter luxury stores because of who-knows-what?”
OP argued that they were not asking her to buy anything at the store, and the store wouldn’t kick her out for just looking. However, Amy stood her ground and chose to stay outside rather than go in. Upset by what she had decided to do, OP responded,
“I don’t understand your inferiority complex. You’d rather stand out in the snow because you think that walking into a luxury store means that people will automatically know and judge you for being poor? Because you don’t walk in and purchase something? Get over yourself. Plenty of people just browse and leave.”
Amy didn’t respond kindly to OP’s statement, calling her a “privileged h–.” Amy told OP to “get a sugar daddy” to maintain her current lifestyle.
OP capped it off by saying she didn’t need one, as her parents have enough for three lifetimes.
With the confrontation ending, OP considers how she handled the matter and is struggling with the possibility that she was TA.
It's Complicated
u/Minginton thinks the situation is more nuanced and complex than one would think. Here’s what they say:
“It’s more complicated than you being an ah or not. Personally, I think you’re kinda the AH, but not intentionally. Let me explain. You grew up extremely privileged. Having done that, you really can’t comprehend exactly how paralyzing her insecurities can be from growing up in a low-Income household. It fundamentally changes your outlook and self-awareness. Growing up poor in childhood and early adulthood and stretching 10 bucks ( around 2.80 in the 80s, adjusted from when I was a kid) to feed 4 people dinner makes you self-conscious. It carries into adulthood.
When/if you become stable, you tend to be incredibly generous with any disposable income to others or be incredibly thrifty. Her asking you to buy eggs, while impolite the way she said it, is entirely understandable. Asking for help isn’t easy and often comes out wrong. You pushing her to come along when she didn’t want to shows your lack of understanding and compassion and makes you an unintentional AH.”
Another Redditor, u/Negansays, who comes from a similar background, thinks OP is NTA.
“As someone who grew up poor NTA. It sucks not being able to afford the things you want or to see how your friends go out every weekend while you might only can afford one time. Still it doesn’t give her the right to make those comments. It’d be another story if you rub your wealth and privileges into her face, but from what I’ve read you don’t do that.”
Reddit is divided with users who think she's wrong and users who think she isn't, but what side of the fence are you on? How do you think she should have handled it?
Read the main story here.
This article was produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.
Boloere Seibidor, fondly called B.S. is a Nigerian-based writer and poet. Her favorite topics to cover include music, especially Hip-Hop, film, lifestyle, and fashion. She's been published by Feral Journal, Fantasy Magazine, The Temz Review, and most notably, Wealth of Geeks. She enjoys romantic dinners, movie nights, and touring new sites. When she's not writing, she's delving back in time to the underground world of Hip-Hop, watching TikTok, or visiting the cinema.