13 Signs You Are in a ‘Right Person Wrong Time’ Situation

Even if you find someone who appears to be the perfect match for you, you may confront overwhelming challenges if the timing is off. It is possible to have a profound connection with the one you think you are meant to be with. Still, external or internal causes and situations beyond your control drag you away, preventing the potential from being realized. If you relate to this, you may be caught up in a “right person, wrong time” situation.

Why It Happens

Time is the only factor in this. There is no place for anything permanent in your current setting. It's possible that they're not in a position to start a romantic relationship right now due to being at different points in their lives, having incompatible schedules, or having other responsibilities. 

What constitutes “bad” time might seem very different depending on who you ask. While it's true that love ultimately triumphs over all obstacles, sometimes it feels like dating is impossible due to things like upheavals in your professional or personal life, conflicts with family members, or just plain old stress from trying to juggle everything that comes with being an actual adult. 

A Painful Experience

Finding the perfect individual is challenging enough without adding the element of time pressure. In addition, timing plays a crucial role in the development of a romantic partnership. It's heartbreaking to find someone who's almost right for you or who has some qualities you value but who falls just short. If the timing had been better, you could have ended your quest now, but unfortunately, it isn't. 

Furthermore, coming to terms with this reality may cloud your judgment, leading you to evaluate new options in terms of how favorably they compare to the one you had to let go of. The disappointment of being denied your desires makes the situation agonizing.

13 Ways To Know You’re in a Right Person, Wrong Time Situation

Does he fill your stomach with butterflies, but you somehow keep hitting road bumps? Does it feel like it's meant to be, but you just can't seem to get past something? Maybe they are moving to a different state soon or just emotionally unavailable. Either way, no matter the strength of your connection, if you meet the right person at the wrong time of your or their lives, things might not always be smooth sailing. Think you are in such a situation? Here are 13 ways to know:

1. Uneasy Connection

If your emotional baggage is to blame, you may feel a kinship with this individual and a sense of unease or sadness.

2. Things Still Need To Fall Into Place

One of you may have a gut feeling that a certain condition must be met before the two of you can be together or take your relationship to the next level. This indicates that you and your partner aren't ready to take the next step in your relationship yet. The right time for your relationship to mature isn’t now or in sight. 

3. Difficulty Committing

Not being able to fully devote oneself to another person (or vice versa) because of internal strife or the potentially overwhelming demands of external circumstances. Some people are afraid of, while others are turned off by, the prospect of a long-term commitment. There's no way you two can be together right now if one of you is worried about various relationship-related issues, such as getting hurt, being with the wrong person, or things not working out.

4. Difficulty Finding Time Together

Maybe it's hard for the two of you to spend time together for whatever reason. If it causes a pattern of fights, breakups, and frustration, you might want to reevaluate your relationship.

5. Feel Held Back

Your gut tells you this person is right for you, yet you can't seem to break free of the constraints you're under. Knowing you have so much more potential yet failing to take action to realize it. It's best to make sure your partner is on the same page if you're not ready to love deeply and seriously or to wait until you've had time to heal before getting involved in a relationship again.

6. Sense of Delay

Expecting them (or yourself) to change or things to fall into place, and generally feeling like you're stuck waiting in an unsatisfying limbo. You're wasting your time and theirs if you do this. The problem with waiting like this is that you don't know how long you need to wait, which will cause a lot of relationship anxiety between you two.  

7. Uncertainty Regarding The Future

Both you and your partner may experience feelings of uncertainty regarding the future and have doubts regarding your ability to make the relationship successful over the long term. This may be a sign that there are deeper problems in the relationship that need to be addressed before you can proceed with the next step in the relationship.

8. Feelings of Frustration

The inability to devote as much time to your significant other as you'd like is likely to cause you aggravation, which in turn may cause you to feel unhappy and anxious. You may also be having trouble coping with the challenges presented by the situation, both of which could be contributing factors.

9. You Have Different Goals

Conflicting priorities are a major issue in any relationship. Do you want to marry someone who shares your passion for travel? Going into a relationship with a homeboy or girl can be problematic in the long run. Even though you have an intense affinity for this person, it might not be wise to pursue a relationship with them if your goals in life are fundamentally different.

10. They Are in a Relationship

In other cases, the desired individual is simply unavailable. Getting engaged with someone in a serious relationship is a bad idea. It's not easy, but doing this will complicate matters, and you risk hurting yourself and others.

11. They’re Still Getting Over a Breakup

Maybe they've recently left a relationship and need time to heal emotionally before dating again. Perhaps that describes you, too. Waiting is usually the best course of action. Remaining feelings of despair can fade away with time. There's still too much pain for you or them to enter a relationship.

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Image Credit: Shutterstock.

12. Something Came Up

Though things may have seemed ideal initially, a job offer or a work transfer may have necessitated an unexpected move. Following their passions and trying to achieve their goals is noble, even if it may appear selfish. But it is what it is. It might be time to move on if you can't figure out how to stay in the relationship as they relocate.

13. They Have a Child

So, you're both incredibly drawn to each other, but they already have a child, and becoming a parent isn't something you want. You should probably avoid dating a parent if you envision your future together consisting solely of the two of you. Perhaps things would be different if you had met them before they had a child. If you are a single parent, you would want someone willing to include your child in the picture of what you hope to build together. 

Coping With The “Right Person Wrong Time” Situation

Caught in a “right person, wrong time” situation? Here's how to cope:

1. Evaluate Your Situation

Think first about whether or not you have more adaptability than you give yourself credit for. Is weekend travel an option for a long-distance relationship? How well do you distance yourself from a friend while they're seeing someone else? In the end, remember that if this person is for you, they will return, and you will find a way back to each other when the time is perfect.

Dr. Linda F. Williams, a trained psychotherapist, further gives the following tips for coping with this situation.

2. Ultimatums Not Allowed

Without delivering ultimatums, speak from your heart without compromising your boundaries. Something like, “I'm not willing to, a year from now, still be your [fill in the blank], but I recognize that you just got out of a long-term relationship and still need time to heal and figure things out. I feel I need to give you room for that.” Then act accordingly. It's still going to hurt for a while. You may even grieve the temporary loss of that relationship, but stick to your values and move on. 

3. Do The Work

In having this discussion, don't be accusatory or judgmental. That means doing your emotional work before this discussion. If this is a matter of bad timing, identify ways you may be taking this personally. This isn't about you. This is about different life trajectories and giving that person the time they need to catch up. Also, identify how the situation may be triggering something from your past. Get all this work done before the discussion.

4. The One Time at The Right Time Rule of Engagement

The wisest words spoken at the wrong time are unwise. So, only have this discussion after doing the internal work. Find a time to talk about it once you are on an emotional even keel. This should never be during a heated discussion or an argument. Or when either one of you is emotionally wound up. It has to be in downtime when you both can objectively and calmly talk honestly about the relationship. Then say it once and be ready to act accordingly. If you are unsure about moving on, don't have this discussion until you are sure you can.

Timing and conditions, fortunately, can shift. There's still the possibility that the barriers between you will dissolve after some time. That could be a fantastic chance to find out what happens if the connection holds and the stars align. It's possible to maintain a friendship if the circumstances permit. Or keep an open dialogue for when things change later. If you're not ready to give up on pursuing something more, you may need to be patient and wait for the right time or sign.

This article was produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.

Amaka Chukwuma is a freelance content writer with a BA in linguistics. As a result of her insatiable curiosity, she writes in various B2C and B2B niches. Her favorite subject matter, however, is in the financial, health, and technological niches. She has contributed to publications like Buttonwood Tree and FinanceBuzz in the past and currently writes for Wealth of Geeks.