Sibling rivalry is normal in families. However, some families have it worse than others, with fights that can bring families to the brink of breaking.
For Redditor u/Virtual_Car5844, 33, and her brother Dan, 36, things have never been all that great. Their relationship was never bad, but they were never really This Is Us sibling-level close.
Desperate Measures
OP and her brother don't come from the best circumstances. Since their dad was in jail until they were in their late teens, it was on their mom to take care of them. To do this, she worked two jobs and it hardly covered the bare minimum of what they needed.
To help, OP got a job when she turned 16. After a year, OP had “quite a sizable amount of money” saved up. Meanwhile, Dan also was working but instead of saving money, he got one of his coworkers pregnant. To make matters worse, his partner suffered post-partum psychosis and was hospitalized many times after she gave birth to their child.
After a while, Dan — who still lived at home with OP and their mom — ended up with sole custody of his child.
Struggling with all the baby's expenses and on a minimum wage job, Dan would often vent to OP how he wanted to get his own place but couldn't afford it.
But the venting turned into action. When OP was 17, Dan stole her debit card and bank details and withdrew around £2,000 — all of OP's savings. He replaced OP's debit card, left with his baby, and moved in with his new girlfriend.
“Grow Up”
When OP found out, she was so angry she wanted to go to the police. Worse, she felt betrayed by her own brother. But her mother forbade her from going to the police.
Since he stole from her, OP hasn't spoke to her brother. He's never apologized and never reached out — until recently. Years have passed since the incident and the siblings still haven't spoken. Recently, OP's mother has been pushing OP to get back in contact with her brother. But OP refuses.
Dan thinks OP needs to grow up. He stole from her when he was young and desperate. It was only money. Most important, he's still her brother.
For OP, this is a matter of principle. She is his little sister, and he easily stole something so important to her. However, he said she was dramatizing what happened and that she should understand why he did what he did.
But only OP's father — who also helped her pay for college after Dan stole her savings — is the only person on her side. Now she's wondering if she's being cold-hearted by keep her brother cut off.
Redditors' Thoughts
u/Wynfleue believes that OP's brother has no right to say the things he did.
“The ‘it was such a long time ago' argument doesn't even stand up here mostly because he still hasn't paid back the money (and even if he did, there's no way to make up what 2 grand means to a teenager who worked and saved for college) but also: he made no attempt to talk to her for 16 years after stealing from her. It's not like he sat down with her and explained it to her face and begged for forgiveness. It's not like he's been sending her apology letters in the mail. He was an adult who stole money from his baby sister (a literal child) and then abandoned her afterwards.
He can (and should) pay back the money (with interest) … but there's nothing he can do to make up for missing \half of her life\ because of this.”
Another Reddit user u/Swedishpunsch thinks that OP's brother is only back because he needs something from her. The user advises OP to get an attorney and sue her brother for stealing from her.
“I can only assume brother needs something from OP. Your brother needs money again, aided and abetted by your mother. Lock down your bank accounts and your credit cards and anything else you own, OP, because he's come back to steal from you. If your mother is on any of your accounts you need to fix this ASAP.
Get a free consultation with an attorney, too, and find out whether there is any way that you can sue him for his previous thefts. Find out whether you can still make a police report about them.
Your mother and brother will not leave you alone unless they realize that there will be legal repercussions for stealing from you. You probably need to cut contact with both of them. NTA.”
Redditors have concluded that OP is not to blame. Her brother wronged her, and her mum isn't helping the situation by sweeping it under the rug.
Dealing with family isn't always easy, but hopefully, OP figures out the right thing to do.
Meanwhile, what's your take on this?
Read the full story on Reddit here.
This article was produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.
Boloere Seibidor, fondly called B.S. is a Nigerian-based writer and poet. Her favorite topics to cover include music, especially Hip-Hop, film, lifestyle, and fashion. She's been published by Feral Journal, Fantasy Magazine, The Temz Review, and most notably, Wealth of Geeks. She enjoys romantic dinners, movie nights, and touring new sites. When she's not writing, she's delving back in time to the underground world of Hip-Hop, watching TikTok, or visiting the cinema.