Many people find it hard to socialize with others, no matter how hard they try. It can lead them into many awkward situations, especially when it feels like no one understands. One can try to avoid these awkward scenarios, but some things are always out of one's control.
Redditor u/Safe_Confusion340 posted his story on Reddit, trying to figure out if he's wrong or not.
OP is a 20-year-old who lives with his parents and struggles a lot with his mental health. He often has overwhelming anxiety in social situations, which makes him promptly return home, where he feels more relaxed and safe. OP also thinks he has undiagnosed ADHD, affecting his social ability.
OP was relaxing at home in the living room, still in his PJs, and in his words, he was “completely unpresentable.”
His mom suddenly brought her friend over, who came to him to say hello. At this point, he was avoiding social scenarios because he was anxious and unsure how to react, so he just said hello without even turning to her.
He felt guilty and embarrassed about this and mentioned that he has preparations he makes to avoid scenarios like these. OP also said that his family already knew about how he feels about unannounced guests coming over.
After The Awkward Hello…
OP spoke to his mom, requesting that she send him a text or let him know when a guest is coming over. This made his mom furious, and she told OP that it was her house and he was controlling and overstepping his boundaries by not letting her friends come around.
OP tried to clarify and explain what he meant. He would just prefer to know a couple of minutes before a guest comes around, so he can make himself presentable or hide upstairs if he feels too anxious.
OP's dad also felt the same way his mom did, and said he was not willing to do that either. OP tried to give them reasons why they should, like the fact that sometimes he just walks around the house in his underwear and doesn't want to feel he can't. If he never knows when company is going to be over, doesn't feel comfortable being himself in his own home.
OP says he understands he might be making a big deal about this, but he thinks his feelings are being invalidated. All OP wants is to see what others think and to know if he is being totally inconsiderate.
Reddit's verdict seems torn; some users agree that OP is not TA, and others think that OP is.
U/desolation29 believes OP is TA, pointing out that OP is not in his house:
“YTA, OP you're conflating having your feelings validated with your parents acquiescing to your request in their own home. Your dad gave a perfectly reasonable explanation to your request of walking around in the home in your underwear and that's it's a risk that comes with living in SOMEONE ELSE'S HOME. You're just going to have to accept that you can't have things your way on some things because of where you live. I live with my parents while I'm saving money for a down payment on a house, and that means I have to concede on several things I like doing while living by myself because I'm not living by myself at the moment.”
Another user u/Cannabis_aficionado agrees with the comment:
“YTA. It's not up to the world to shield you from your triggers. It's up to you to deal with them.”
U/sbucks2121 does not completely agree that OP is TA, but they mention that if OP wants privacy, he should move out:
“Mental health aside. That doesn't impact my assessment. Do you pay rent and utilities? If so, you are fully entitled to ask for accommodations. If not, then you are subject to the actions of the people who own and pay for the space. Yes, it would be nice for them to give you a heads-up. But if you aren't contributing to the cost, it is not a requirement. If you want your own space for privacy, move out. If that isn't an option, you are stuck with the situation.”
Finally, the last comment by u/Loki–Laufeyson suggests that OP is NTA:
“I totally expected to scroll down and read NTA. Like without all these extra details, I think it's courteous to give notice when someone is coming over, regardless of whose house it is or anything. Asking for and expecting a few minutes heads up doesn't make OP an AH imo.”
Social anxiety can be tough to deal with and difficult to explain to other people. Do you, or someone you know, struggle with this? Do you understand OP's plight, or do you think he is being unreasonable?
Read the full story on Reddit here.
This article was produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.
Boloere Seibidor, fondly called B.S. is a Nigerian-based writer and poet. Her favorite topics to cover include music, especially Hip-Hop, film, lifestyle, and fashion. She's been published by Feral Journal, Fantasy Magazine, The Temz Review, and most notably, Wealth of Geeks. She enjoys romantic dinners, movie nights, and touring new sites. When she's not writing, she's delving back in time to the underground world of Hip-Hop, watching TikTok, or visiting the cinema.