Family drama can be brutal to deal with, especially in cases where family hurts you. One guy online, OP, was raised by his uncle and aunt, not because his parents had passed away, but because his older sister fell ill, and his parents felt it was easier to dump him over at his grandparents. Unfortunately, OP was given no explanation for what happened during his upbringing. Years later, the whole family attends Christmas mass, but OP ghosts his biological parents. Was he right, or was he wrong? After all, they abandoned him without any explanation or thoughtful communication.
Only a Short Visit?
His parents gave him no explanation about what was going on, neither did they tell his grandparents what they had in mind. They only told him he was going to visit his grandparents for “a while,” but they never came back for him.
Luckily, his uncle took him in and he started living with them. Since the “visit,” he had only seen his parents five times and not once for the past nine years. He stopped trying to reach out to them when he was twelve, seeing as communication was only one-sided, with him always being the one trying to reach out to them (his parents).
Everything turned out okay for him living with his uncle and aunt as they were more than good to him, and formally adopted him when he turned eighteen.
Fast forward to a few years later, he was now twenty-one and his sister passed away between Thanksgiving and Christmas. He came back from school to attend the funeral, but made sure to leave before his biological parents got the chance to speak to him.
Who Are You?
They tried getting his adoptive father (uncle) to get across to him, all to no avail until they caught up with him during Christmas at a midnight mass he attended with his grandma. They tried to go in for a hug, but he pretended not to recognize them (even though he did) and instead backed away and asked if he knew them.
“We're your parents!” they said, and he replied, “My parents are at home.” Then he proceeded to take a seat next to his grandma.
That wasn't the end; after the mass and on his way out, they asked him if he really didn't recognize them, to which he replied, “Oh, are you my dad’s brother? I think I remember you from when I was little.”
His biological parents made sure he knew the sting they felt. They wrote him a long letter describing how hurt they were, how they thought they were only doing the right thing, and how nothing he did would make them stop being his parents.
Is He The Problem?
People online had different thoughts on this situation. One Reddit user u/3Heathens_Mom made sure to let him know that he was NTA. She continued by saying:
“OP was parked at grandma’s and aunt/uncle with the explanation from their bio parents being your gonna stay a little while. Then no meaningful contact (5 visits in 5 years) then nothing as OP stopped try to maintain the relationship when they were 11 years old.”
“I imagine most children would have been crushed by this. Thankfully OP had a supportive and loving grandma as well as an aunt and uncle who stepped up and were their parents in every way but legally.”
“I wonder if with the lack of interest/contact if OP’s bio parents were even aware OP was legally adopted by uncle and aunt?”
“So now that their eldest has passed which is indeed sad, they think they should be able to pick up where they left off with OP?…They abandoned their child for 15 years. The 6 year old child is now a 21 year old adult who they don’t even know…”
A different user u/Anxious-Plate9917 had just one thing to say: “They literally abandoned one child to care for another. Who does that???”
u/thaliagorgon wasn't having it, this user made it clear that his parents could've done better. “They may have felt unable to care for you and your sister but they could have kept contact, they could have explained things to you, they could have shown you love even if someone else was caring for you for a while…They abandoned you with no explanation and no attempts to stay in your life.”
Redditors stand with OP on this one and they agree that he was NTA. Instead, most of them blame his parents for how they treated him. There should have been thoughtful communication about the situation and perhaps even therapy.
What about you? Do you think he was a bit too harsh to his parents? Or did they deserve OP's response?
A thread inspired this article.
This article is produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.
Boloere Seibidor, fondly called B.S. is a Nigerian-based writer and poet. Her favorite topics to cover include music, especially Hip-Hop, film, lifestyle, and fashion. She's been published by Feral Journal, Fantasy Magazine, The Temz Review, and most notably, Wealth of Geeks. She enjoys romantic dinners, movie nights, and touring new sites. When she's not writing, she's delving back in time to the underground world of Hip-Hop, watching TikTok, or visiting the cinema.