Starting Over a Relationship: 9 Ways To Do It

After a relationship break, you may want to give your relationship another try. That would mean starting all over in the relationship. But starting a relationship over is a bit different from when you initially started seeing each other the first time.

What It Means To Start All Over a Relationship

Starting over a relationship typically means trying to rebuild a romantic relationship with a partner after a breakup or period of separation. It involves consciously addressing the issues that led to the breakup and working towards building a stronger, healthier, and more fulfilling relationship.

It implies forgetting the bad times and looking forward to better times. It suggests you won't make the same mistakes again and are open to attempting new things.

Reasons To Start Over in a Broken Relationship

There are many reasons you may consider starting over. Not all relationships break for good. Sometimes you still have feelings for each other and want to take a shot at building a fulfilling relationship from scratch. Here are a few reasons to start over a broken relationship:

  • One of the key reasons why people may desire to start a relationship afresh is because they still care about and love their partner and are devoted to making the relationship work.
  • In other instances, it takes a breakup to see what's wrong with a relationship and work to fix it. A fresh start in a relationship might be a great chance to fix any problems that have built up.

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  • It's possible that each partner has developed throughout the separation or breakup and now want to rekindle their relationship and develop together.
  • Rebuilding a relationship might allow you to develop greater emotional intimacy and closeness with your partner.
  • Sometimes, a fresh start in a relationship is the best way to put the past in the past and move on with each other.
  • Some couples may decide to try to rebuild their relationship for practical or financial reasons, such as shared assets, children, or shared responsibilities.

9 Ways To Starting Over in a Relationship With The Same Person

Here are a few ways to start over a relationship:

1. Acknowledge and Take Accountability for The Past

According to Dr. Yishai Barkhordari,  a licensed psychologist, “It might sound counterintuitive, but an in-depth inventory of the mistakes and hurts from your past can help you figure out how to make a fresh start and do better going forward.” 

The demise of a relationship is often the result of several little things adding up to something bigger than any one of them could be on their own. Perhaps, you stopped appreciating your partner as much as they once did, or you stopped doing what made them feel appreciated. Whatever the case, it’s good to talk about the roots of the breakup. 

2. Have a Funeral for Your Now Gone Relationship

Barkhordari notes that relationships have seasons, and we all change. Over time, many happy couples look back and realize they have had two, three, or four distinct relationships with each other. Many of the couples I've worked with have grieved their lost relationship and nurtured a new one – together.”

Guy and girl are sitting by freshly painted wall and drinking wine. They are tired, but happy. Apartment renovation, wall painting, work completed concept
Image Credit: Shutterstock.

3. Act Like Strangers

Pretend you know nothing about each other and just locked eyes across the room. Barkhordari advises that Role-playing and pretending to meet and begin from scratch can reboot your relationship in ways you couldn't imagine. You might even realize how much you don't know about each other!

4. Communicate

Commit to honest communication and create a safe and supportive space where you both feel free to express your thoughts, feelings, and needs. This requires active listening, empathy, and vulnerability. Active listening involves giving your partner your full attention and understanding their perspective. Having a partner who makes you feel safe enough to be vulnerable is important. Putting yourself out there in all your frailty makes for stronger bonds.

5. Practice Forgiveness

Let go of old hurts, take responsibility for your actions, don't blame each other, and look forward to better times. Don't think about mistakes you made in the past or worry about the future. Be thoughtful, aware of yourself, and committed to working on yourself and pursuing personal growth.

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6. Get Support

Ask any mutually trusted friends to help you and your partner during this reconciliation. When you need someone to clear up the misunderstandings, they can offer you moral and emotional support or actively engage in dialogue with both of you without taking sides. 

7. Expect Changes

As time passes and you gain new experiences and evolve. As a result, your perspective on life and relationships may shift. Understanding the intricacies of a new beginning will be easier once you accept that you and your spouse are different from the first time you met. The good thing is you benefit from each other's experience and growth. So, don't be alarmed if you notice any change in your partner. 

8. Talk About Your Expectations

If you and your partner want this new relationship to succeed more than the last one, it can help to sit down and discuss what you want from your partner and the new relationship. Instead of trying to mold your spouse into your ideal, figure out what that ideal is and how you can both strive toward it. You should be prepared for some dispute regarding what you both want and discuss ways to compromise.


9. Focus on What You Loved About Him

When restarting a relationship, it's helpful to go back to what you admired most about your partner from the beginning. Think about them as if you were meeting them for the first time and try to see them in a new light. How did they vary from your previous partners? Exactly what about them made you fall in love with them? A smart way to remember what you appreciate about someone is to write them down. 

Things To Consider Before Starting Over a Relationship

Here are a few things to consider before starting over a relationship:

  • Determine whether it is really worth your time and effort. If the work is one-sided, it’s best to let go.
  • Understanding the reasons behind the split is critical, and treating any underlying issues that contributed to it is critical. If the reasons that led to the breakup are unresolved, resuming the relationship will be a mistake.
  • Think about how you feel and whether or not you're ready to start over in the relationship. Ask yourself if you have the emotional fortitude to face the difficulties of mending the relationship. Can you put the past with your relationship behind you and start fresh?
  • Think too about whether or not your partner feels emotionally and mentally ready to start anew in the relationship. To what extent do they want to fix the problems that led to the breakup? Can they put it behind them and start fresh?
  • It takes honest conversation and mutual trust to mend a broken relationship. Consider how well you and your partner interact and how much you trust each other.
  • It may be difficult to rebuild a strong and healthy relationship if you have grown apart and now have different interests and goals. You need to re-assess how compatible you both still are.
  • Also, consider the possibility of repeating old patterns that led to the breakup. If you and your partner can't break these patterns, it may be difficult to start over the relationship.
  • Family, friends, work, and other responsibilities can impact a couple's ability to maintain a healthy relationship. You and your partner must be able to put the relationship first and find time to be together.

You should keep in mind that you and your spouse make up a team and that the two of you have the ability to make changes in the relationship that are beneficial as long as you make the decision that you want to maintain the connection. Suppose you and your partner are having difficulties working out the kinks by yourselves. In that case, it may be quite helpful to consult a couples' therapist who can bring fresh insights into the relationship and advice for moving forward.


1. Is it possible to start over a relationship after a breakup?

After a breakup, it is feasible to start dating again. You both must be willing to work on repairing the relationship and make the required adjustments.

2. How do I know if my ex-partner is willing to start over the relationship?

Your ex-partner will probably let you know if they're open to restarting your relationship. They might also demonstrate a willingness by reaching out to you, being receptive to your conversation, and expressing a desire to resolve the problems that caused the separation.

3. How do I start a conversation about starting over a relationship with my ex-partner?

Being open and upfront is key when initiating a dialogue about rebuilding a relationship. You can communicate your emotions and your willingness to resolve the problems that caused the split. Be receptive to hearing your ex-partner's view as well.

4. How long should I wait before trying to start over a relationship with my ex-partner?

Depending on the specifics of your relationship and the circumstances of the split, you should wait a certain amount of time before attempting to repair your connection with your former. Give yourself and your ex-partner enough time to work through your feelings and recover from the split before attempting to restart a relationship.

5.  What should I do if my ex-partner is not willing to start over the relationship?

You should give your ex some space and respect their decision if they do not want to try to restart the relationship. Put your energy into getting better and taking care of yourself; when you're ready, you can consider moving on and meeting new people.

6. How do I rebuild trust in a relationship I've started over?

Restoring trust in a relationship that has been restarted takes time and persistent effort. This includes being truthful and open, keeping your promises, and exhibiting your dedication to the partnership. Be patient and understanding as your spouse works through their feelings and anxieties.

This article was produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.

Amaka Chukwuma is a freelance content writer with a BA in linguistics. As a result of her insatiable curiosity, she writes in various B2C and B2B niches. Her favorite subject matter, however, is in the financial, health, and technological niches. She has contributed to publications like Buttonwood Tree and FinanceBuzz in the past and currently writes for Wealth of Geeks.