Is Her Boyfriend’s Love Bombing Psychologically Abusive?

She has seen a difference in his conduct throughout their four years of dating. It started in the second year.

He used to be a wonderful person to be around—very warm, friendly, and kind. But lately, he has treated her quite disrespectfully and critically.

He compares her and her friends, pointing out how, in contrast to her, they hold senior-level positions in technical fields while she holds a more administrative one. He'll tell her about their smartness and how she seems the outlier.

Every day, she hears comments from him that are little digs at her intelligence, appearance, attention span, interests, and more. She has asked him to stop saying things like that several times, but he always responds, “I'm only joking,” or will act as though he has forgotten.

When they quarrel, it's difficult to find common ground. They go around in circles for hours, with him pointing out flaws in her character that have nothing to do with what they are fighting about.

If she tries to defend herself, he often says she is playing the victim and can't see the situation clearly. He is also very logical and very good at arguing.

Hence, she often gets confused and lost in the conversation when they talk. So she ends up contradicting herself or feeling confused without knowing what to say.

“Honestly, I feel like it's weird.” she says, “because sometimes he's sooo nice and thoughtful. He gets me amazing gifts and can be very generous. I just feel like if he genuinely cared and loved me, he wouldn't make me feel this terrible”

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