She Asked Him For a Romantic Vacation, He Said Not Without The Kids

Reddit mom u/Prestigious-Olive582 wishes to go on a vacation with her husband, without their kids (they have three daughters). OP's husband would rather go on vacation with their kids. There is a conflict of interest at home.

The Full Story:

OP says her husband is the most wonderful man she has ever met. In her words,

“He’s smart, caring, takes care of the family and the house. Our girls love him to the point you can feel the energy shift whenever he comes home.”

She adds that her husband spends every free time with the girls, indulges them in their hobbies and interests, and even takes them everywhere he goes (with or without her). But this is where the problem stems from.

The whole family goes on vacation together every year. But OP says it would be nice for just her and her husband to have a trip together sometime. When she brought it up to her husband, he said:

“Asians don’t leave their children at home.”

He would also add that they had a limited amount of time before the girls would grow and wouldn't want to go with them anymore.

But OP says she doesn't want to wait until they're in their 70s and the children are out of the house to spend, “a romantic night in Paris or go dancing in a club in Italy.”

This year's vacation came up and, again, OP asked her husband if they could do something together, just the two of them. Again, her husband shut her down. The time for dates, he said, was before they had children.

This led to a disagreement and he took the girls fishing while she stayed home.

OP just wants a vacation with her husband, without the kids, but he doesn't want that. She wants to know if she is TA for wanting that.

Reddit Replies:

Redditor u/kieka408 comments,

“NAH neither of you are wrong. The only issue is that it sounds like he might be dismissive of what you are asking for. He’s right in that there are only so many years where your kids WANT to hang out with you before you cramp their style. HOWEVER if you’re not nourishing your relationship as a couple outside of being parents, when that time comes you might not have any of those parts of you left.

Eta: I really hope you get your romantic Paris date night.”

Another user u/Miserable_Cow403 also thinks that OP isn't TA, but that maybe a compromise can be reached. The user has this to say,

“NAH. It’s fair you want a kid-free vacation and it’s fair your husband wants to bring the kids on vacation. Perhaps if you have the budget you could do two smaller vacations as a compromise. It all depends on where you live/affordability but meeting in the middle seems like a way for all needs to be satisfied.”

Another user (Asian, like OP's husband) agrees that OP is NTA, explaining how kids don't always need to go everywhere with their parents. U/Aravisi shared:

“NTA. I'm Asian and I take a trip with my husband for our anniversary every year without our kids.

I take trips with the one kid and not the other sometimes too, depending on their interests. I took one of my kids to Disney World without my husband or other kid because they didn't want to go. We do one summer vacation with everyone per year. My kids also travelled with their grandparents or boy scouts/friends etc. without us. Both the kids have been to foreign countries without us. I don't see the big deal. Some people act like you're a terrible parent if you're not attached at the hip to your kids. Our kids are very independent and love to travel with us or without us. It's not a big deal to take one trip out of many as a couple.

One of my kids is over 18 now and we still take him on vacations! There's no reason you stop at 18, and no reason to restrict yourselves with weird rules.”

Finally, Redditors are saying neither she nor her husband are TAs, but they do have to have a conversation and reach some sort of compromise.

Do you agree with Redditors, or do you think she's (N)TA?

This thread inspired this post. 

This article was produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.

Boloere Seibidor, fondly called B.S. is a Nigerian-based writer and poet. Her favorite topics to cover include music, especially Hip-Hop, film, lifestyle, and fashion. She's been published by Feral Journal, Fantasy Magazine, The Temz Review, and most notably, Wealth of Geeks. She enjoys romantic dinners, movie nights, and touring new sites. When she's not writing, she's delving back in time to the underground world of Hip-Hop, watching TikTok, or visiting the cinema.