Moving can be a challenging experience, especially for children and teenagers. It disrupts familiar routines, friendships, and relationships. Adjusting to new social circles, schools, and friends can be hard and create a sense of displacement and isolation. It's not uncommon to feel anxiety and loss during such a time.
Someone narrated how moving across the country changed his life and put a strain on his relationship with his family. We’ll call this person OP. Here is his story.
The Backstory
OP, his wife, and their two children, Alex and Marie, moved last year because of his wife's job. However, the move was challenging for everyone, especially Alex. He had come out to his family and friends as gay and found a supportive community where they had lived before.
Unfortunately, they had to leave all of that behind when they moved to a less accepting place in the U.S. Coming out must have been a serious decision for him.
It's been a year since they moved, but Alex still hasn't fully adjusted to his new environment. He's made a few friends, but he hasn’t found the same level of comfort and support that he had before.
Meanwhile, Marie has been thriving at her new school and excelling thanks to the teachers she's clicked with this year.
We Need to Talk
OP and his wife have been at odds with the move. He feels that his wife has been unsympathetic to what their son is going through. A few weeks ago, they found weed in Alex's room, and while he was ready to talk with his son about it, his wife grounded him and took away his phone every afternoon after school.
For a troubled kid who's only fifteen and trying to find his way, that seems like a little too much.
This made things even harder for Alex. He was cut him off from his friends at his old school, and this action further isolated him during an already challenging time.
Making the Tough Choices
OP had enough and finally had a conversation with his wife about their family's well-being. He told her it was time to start planning to move back. However, his wife was hesitant because Marie was doing well in their new home, and she didn't want to go back since it would be a “demotion” for her career and salary.
I may not be a parent, but these are some serious decisions, and his wife could have done better or at least tried to make things better for her son.
From OP’s perspective, the family is financially stable. He has a trust fund from his grandparents that covered most of their living costs, allowing him to take complete care of the family without putting a strain on them. His wife has no reason to keep working.
He believes that being a parent sometimes means putting your own needs on the back burner while doing what's best for your children. He thinks it's selfish of his wife to put her career ahead of their son's well-being.
Long story short, the conversation didn't end well between OP and his wife. OP called her job a “passion project.” His wife hasn't spoken to him since, and he doesn't know how to move forward. He wants to know if he did something wrong.
They Share the Blame
Considering how OP handled things, it's fair to say that he shares some of the blame. Calling a person's job a passion project can make them feel as though their work isn't valued.
One person thinks OP is manipulative, “YTA, the context of your children doesn't apply here. You essentially said your wife doesn't do anything of significance, which is really hurtful and demotivating. Not to mention it looks like manipulation to get her to be completely dependent on you.”
Another person gives a different approach:
“I think reasonable people could disagree on whether to stay or move. The issue, in my opinion, is how they made the decision. Partners who respect each other do not sit their partner down and tell them what they are going to do next. For that, I think OP is TA.”
I think OP is wrong for speaking about his wife's job in that manner. However, moving is never easy, and there will always be some loss. If he and his wife could work together to find a way to make their son happy, a new hobby, or something to take his mind off things, things could be better.
A thread inspired this post.
This article was produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock.
Boloere Seibidor, fondly called B.S. is a Nigerian-based writer and poet. Her favorite topics to cover include music, especially Hip-Hop, film, lifestyle, and fashion. She's been published by Feral Journal, Fantasy Magazine, The Temz Review, and most notably, Wealth of Geeks. She enjoys romantic dinners, movie nights, and touring new sites. When she's not writing, she's delving back in time to the underground world of Hip-Hop, watching TikTok, or visiting the cinema.