Woman Feels Bad for Bailing on a Trip at The Last Minute

Sometimes a last-minute change in plans can leave one feeling guilty. Recently a Redditor wanted to know if canceling plans for a trip with friends made them the problem. Posting to Reddit's AITA thread, user @valeriea9719 posted the details.

Here's The Story

The OP was scheduled to go with three friends on a trip and was excited about the upcoming adventure. She mentions that three of her friends consisted of a couple and another friend who would also be going single. She felt fairly comfortable because she wouldn't be the only one without their partner.

Fast forward to two weeks before the trip and the ‘single' friend was elated that her boyfriend came upon some time off and would now be going with her on the trip. This changed the dynamic from one couple and two single friends to two couples and OP.

OP went on to explain that her boyfriend wouldn't be able to attend as he needed months of prior approval from his job and she admits she only agreed to take the trip because her other friend had planned on going alone as well.

After the last-minute change in who would be attending, OP no longer felt the trip was for her and graciously decided to opt-out. After letting her friends know she no longer wanted to go on the trip, she made arrangements for getting her money back.

This didn't sit well with her friends who promised they wouldn't exclude her and while OP knows this, she admits that eventually she would be left alone when the couples go off to do ‘their own things.'

Feeling guilty about the ‘last minute' change, OP wanted to ask other Reddit commenters if they thought she was TA.

Redditors Have Opinions

While there's been no definitive answer one way or another, plenty of posters thought OP definitely was NTA.

User @Vomit_Entrepreneur said, “NTA.

If your friend’s BF can join last minute, you can drop it last minute. In general it’s not good to cancel plans so late, but the trip was planned for 4 people, and it still has 4 people going, so it’s not like you messed up any of the logistics. And you’re right, no matter how inclusive your friends are, they are inevitably going to do ‘couple stuff.'”

@Logical_Block1507 thought the OP had already been excluded in the wording of their friends.

“they won’t exclude me

I can enjoy my me time when the couples go do their own things

Uh. Hello? Right there, the excluding.

Not to mention, everyone's all gathered around a fireplace or whatever. To your left: couple snuggling. To your right: couple snuggling. You in the middle, what? twiddling thumbs? For a week.


Redditor @PhilosophySalt5766 wanted to know where OP planned on sleeping if they hadn't backed out.

“Nope, NTA. It is now not the experience you signed up for. Your friends should understand this and not make you feel badly. The cost to everyone is the same to everyone too. Also, what would the sleeping arrangements be? Is there an extra bed and bedroom, or will you be on the sofa?”

@DJ_Two_Supreme shared an experience similar to OP's.


How would the trip be fun for you when it turned into a couples' trip?

It's not a big deal because they won’t exclude me

In situations like this, that is not guaranteed. I had to endure this when I was in high school and it sucked. Two of my friends (they were together) disappeared and did whatever and the other two friends (also together) were flirting with each other; while I was just chilling listening to music”

Unlike most AITA Reddit posts, the vote on OP's scenario was unanimous that they were NTA. Plans change and sometimes that makes something that sounded fun, to begin with, no longer so enjoyable. For OP it was clear that the trip no longer held the same allure and backing out was the right thing to do. Would you have dropped a trip if the dynamic of the plans changed so drastically?

This article was produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.