A marriage is a partnership where two people unite and try to make the best out of everything and anything. It involves sharing the rest of one's life with someone else. This includes any significant decisions they want to make.
The wife in this story does not want to live with her in-laws, but her husband says she has no choice. It's funny how long it takes to build bonds that can be broken so easily. OP and her husband may have once been lovebirds, but now they are obviously not on the same page anymore. It has gotten so bad that she's contemplating divorce.
Here's how the story started.
Living Together
OP, her husband, sister-in-law, and SIL's husband all invested in a house on a plot her in-laws bought for them a while ago.
They initially planned to sell the place but agreed to live in it if a crisis ever hit. Now, OP's husband wants them to go live at the place so they can save rent for a while. Yes, the cost of living rises daily, and anyone should hop at any opportunity to cut it down a bit.
OP initially didn't want to, but she agreed anyway. Now, her husband has gone behind her back to talk to her brother-in-law about the move-in. BIL then decided to move into the house with his wife too. Well, it seems the whole family will be living together. And we don't know if that's a good thing.
But as far as OP is concerned, it's not. She panicked when her husband told her his plans and said she'd rather sell the house, which upset everyone.
No Choice
She was so opposed to the idea because of her in-laws. OP tried to explain why she didn't like her SIL and BIL, and it summed up that “they boast, offer unsolicited advice, gossip a lot about other people, have poor time and space boundaries.”
She always tried to be respectful and mind her business, but that didn't seem to work. More than this, OP is worried that if she gets pregnant while staying in the same house with them, her SIL will be all up in her business offering unsolicited advice where not needed. And I can't think of anything that would be more irritating than that with everything a pregnant woman goes through.
OP tried explaining her fears to her husband, but it just turned into a big fight, and her husband told her that she had no choice but to live in the house with her in-laws.
Now, OP resents her husband and is even thinking about a divorce. She wants to know if she's a bad person for not wanting to stay with them.
He's Wrong, but Divorce May Not Be Right
One of the best ways to judge yourself is by having total strangers do it for you. OP tabled the case on social media, and people have opinions. Here's what they think.
u/RogueRedShirt commented,
“NTA. The situation you agreed to change. You thought it would just be you and your husband in the house, not you, your husband, and your monster-in-laws. You shouldn't have to live in a toxic environment, and the fact that after communicating your feelings to your husband, he said, ‘You have no choice' says a lot about your husband.”
They continued, explaining that OP's husband shouldn't be forcing her to do things:
“He can't force you to do anything. He is not your parent, keeper, or jailer. Marriage is a partnership. You discuss your options and agree together. Your husband's words worry me, has he forced you to do or accept things in the past?”
One more person pointed out why divorce wasn't such a crazy option for her to consider:
“You actually do have a choice on whether to live there, and the fact that your husband thinks he gets to control you means you should definitely think about divorce. And do it. NTA.”
I believe her husband should not try to force her to do anything she doesn't want to. He could try to see things from her perspective and budge to accommodate and validate her concerns. Instead, he doesn't seem willing to listen.
Still, I think divorce may be a bit extreme. It could take a lot of communication, but it appears to be a case the couple can work through together if they tread lightly.
What do you think she should do? Should she try to communicate with her husband or just let it go and opt for divorce instead?
This thread inspired this story.
This article was produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.
Boloere Seibidor, fondly called B.S. is a Nigerian-based writer and poet. Her favorite topics to cover include music, especially Hip-Hop, film, lifestyle, and fashion. She's been published by Feral Journal, Fantasy Magazine, The Temz Review, and most notably, Wealth of Geeks. She enjoys romantic dinners, movie nights, and touring new sites. When she's not writing, she's delving back in time to the underground world of Hip-Hop, watching TikTok, or visiting the cinema.