Sometimes in life, opportunities present themselves, and you have two paths to choose from: alienate your family for the sake of your own contentment, or sacrifice your contentment to ease relations with your relatives.
One woman recently had to make that choice and is now wondering if she made the right decision.
Here's The Story
OP, 22, has a 22-year-old cousin she calls “Becky” in the post. Becky and OP shared a grandmother, who died when the girls were somewhere around three years old.
Becky recently became engaged, and according to OP, her uncle offered his mother's engagement ring to the happy couple. OP says the ring had already been passed down two generations, and her uncle wanted to “continue the tradition,” and told Becky the ring was in storage.
OP says her cousin's boyfriend proposed with “prop jewelry” in anticipation of receiving the ring from Becky's parents. But it wasn't there when OP's uncle went to get the ring.
Obviously, this is where the whole problem starts. During the COVID-19 lockdowns, OP and her family were separating her grandmother's things to see what could be donated.
During the COVID lockdowns, OP says her family was separating stuff to give to charity when they found her grandmother's engagement ring and wedding band. She thought the ring, which is emerald and diamond, was pretty and asked if she could have it. She was given permission and even paid for the ring to get cleaned, resized, re-plated, and check the settings.
Recently Becky had her engagement party, and OP wore the ring, not thinking much of it except that it matched her green jumpsuit and is easily her favorite piece of jewelry.
Obviously, Becky and her dad recognized the ring. They accused OP's dad of stealing it from under them, as he was the first one on the property after their grandmother died, and his family did most of the packing because they lived closer.
They also accused OP of wearing the ring just to spite them and demanded she hand the ring to Becky.
OP is adamant that their grandmother did not will the rings or any of her possessions to a specific person and had no other estate documents when she passed. But Becky and her family believe it should be Becky's, since she's the oldest child of their grandmother's oldest child.
Reddit Decides
User @AFChiefSunshine thinks OP is NTA and that it's a case of a “finders keepers,” if there's no will.
“NTA. If he didn't know he didn't have the ring for 19 years, he doesn't deserve the heirloom! And not mentioning the missing item to his own brother, shows his narcissism of being eldest. Finally….no will. Finder's keepers sister! Keep wearing it in good faith.”
@Emprassario agrees that OP is NTA, but does admit to being curious about what a court would say on the matter.
“That was my thinking too, they for 19 years didn't [realize] they didn't have the ring. When you clear someone's house that you love, you remember what items you took and where they are, at least I do anyway.
Would be interested in what a court would rule as the argument would likely be that it's been safely in your Dads possession for years, was the given to you by your Dad and you invested in having it made to fit you and be restored. I would be surprised if a ring was suddenly taken to give to another siblings daughter who has got engaged first.”
Redditor @gramknowsbest thinks OP should keep the ring under lock and key.
In The End
Being responsible for an estate after a loved one has passed, especially without a will, can lead to all sorts of bad vibes between siblings. Do you think OP should get to keep the ring? What would you have done with it in OP's situation?
Read the full Reddit story here.
This article is produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.