A breakup is never easy to manage, even if done amicably. Even if you're civil about the details, things can go sour fast. One person online, the original poster (OP) had this unfortunate situation to deal with.
A Terrible Breakup
OP was engaged to a man who abruptly ended their relationship, essentially blaming her for their breakup. She found out afterward that he'd also cheated on her, which she says, ‘crippled her self-esteem.'
When her ex decided to stay in the flat they lived in, she demanded that he repay the deposit, which she had paid, in full. She also required him to pay back her Dad for the non-refundable deposit on their wedding venue.
OP says the total was around 2,000 pounds and they agreed on payments of 200 pounds per month from April of 2020.
In September of 2020, OP says her luck finally changed. The company she worked for was sold and even though she's a PA, the buyers ‘lumped her in with higher level management' and gave her a payout in the ‘low seven figures.'
She bought a home in an upscale neighborhood, decorated it to her liking, and went on some holidays to enjoy herself.
Her boss even rehired her on a part-time basis for his new venture and along with the interest from her remaining capital.
OP lives ‘very comfortably.'
Inclusive, but Too Much?
On NYE, a scheduled party at a friend's house needed a venue change and OP agreed to host the party instead. She graciously included her ex-fiance and his new girlfriend, not wanting to exclude anyone.
OP says when her ex showed up, he started asking questions about when she bought the home and if she'd changed anything about the home. She didn't elaborate too much but offered what truth she could.
A few days after the party, her ex messaged her and said, “ok so this is a little awkward but seeing where you live now I'm honestly a little surprised that you insisted I repay you for the wedding debt in full.
If I'm honest, had I known of your financial circumstances I'd probably have stopped paying. You knew I wasn't in a great financial place.”
OP eventually replied by saying, “The terms were agreed upon long before my circumstances changed. And please keep in mind half of that debt was in fact the deposit for the flat that you continued to live in. This is the last you and I will discuss on the matter.”
The Debt Collector Is Here
OP makes it clear that her ex did indeed pay the debt back, but feels she was in the right to require him to pay it despite her financial windfall.
OP says their mutual friends have always been in her corner as they weren't happy with her ex's behavior.
She'd like to know what Redditors think.
User @Alarmed_Jellyfish555 had some sage advice on future events.
“I can't believe he thinks your financial situation is in any way relevant, especially after what he did. I don't get to choose not to pay back my bank because they're far better off than I am. This just isn't how the real world or adulting works.
And I know you're trying to keep the peace for any mutual friends, but you may want to exclude him from future events you hold at your place. This guy is…A real piece of work, and I just don't trust him.”
@exray0 agrees that OP is not in the wrong.
“A debt is a debt, no justification for forgiving it. Would your ex have paid you more if you were in dire financial straits?”
Redditor @LookAwayPlease510 had some issues with OP's ex's ‘logic.'
“…By his logic, I shouldn’t have to pay Chase back for my mortgage, because Chase seems to have a LOT more money than me.”
In The End
While the debt was cleared before the ex-fiance knew about OP's financial circumstances, his comments clearly didn't sit well with people online in general. Do you think OP was wrong to treat the debt as a ‘repay in full' scenario despite her change in circumstance?
This thread inspired this article.
This article is produced and syndicated with Wealth of Geeks.