It is a common fact that bridezillas can make the wedding process awful for everyone. However, sometimes, the bride isn't the problem; it's her family.
Family can make the wedding a terrible event for everyone, especially the couple. This can cause the couple to stay away, avoid, cut off, or not even invite them to the wedding anymore to keep their sanity intact. But now one bride wonders if she messed up by cutting her family out of her big day.
A Wedding Without The Family
There are a handful of people that, if given a chance, would rather have their wedding without their family members in attendance to save themselves from the drama that might ensue.
OP married her wife in January 2022, and they've been together for five years. The wedding was a small ceremony with close friends, OP's maternal grandparents, and her wife's mom. They invited no one else to the wedding. The smaller, the better, eh?
Her wife has always been open about her sexuality and pronouns (she/they). She doesn't enjoy being identified as a male.
OP's issue with her extended family is that from the first time they met her, they have been disrespectful of her sexuality. They deliberately call her “he” and reject her identity without remorse. Her wife gets hurt by this, so she keeps them at more than arm's length. I think it's cruel of them to act that way. It's the 21st century, and people must learn to be more accepting.
The Family Finds Out
A year after the wedding, her wife posted on her Instagram to celebrate. Her younger sister saw it and told OP's family about it. As expected, it blew up, and her extended family was unhappy. But imagine your family member keeping a wedding, such a significant event, to themselves because they didn't appreciate their attitude.
They were being nasty about it and even disrespecting OP's wife. She explained to them they were showing why she didn't invite them to the wedding.
Being such a nice person, she wrote the sweetest email and sent it to everyone who wasn't invited to the wedding.
“To all of whom did not attend my wedding,
Your refusal to accept my wife as she is was what prevented you all from receiving an invitation. (Grandma) and (grandpa) attended because they were able to recognize my wife for who she is and love her for her. If you did not receive an invitation, it was because you have either: a.) insulted my wife by calling her pronouns she does not identify with on purpose, b.) calling my wife my ‘friend' instead of my girlfriend or partner when we were dating or c.) have expressed homophobic views in the past. Please do not call her names or drag us online when it is your behavior that got you in this mess.
This didn't go down well with the family either. They all think OP is the biggest jerk for not inviting them. The question is, is she?
NTA, Your Wedding, Your Guests
Every single person supports OP. They don't think she's wrong and aren't thrilled with her homophobic family.
One opinion that stood out for me was by u/Fire_or_water_kai. They said,
“NTA. That email was well-written, to the point, and not overly emotional. You didn't cut them out. They did it to themselves with their behavior. While it's very kind of your wife to be willing to ‘tough it out,' she doesn't have to set herself on fire to keep other people warm. Especially on your wedding day.
Your family either recognizes their wrongdoings and apologizes (and you decide if you want to give them a chance), or they double down on their BS, and you continue to avoid them. Either way, no loss on your part.”
I think OP should ignore them, block them if possible, and focus on her wife and the family members who respect her choice of a life partner. What about you?
This thread inspired this post.
This article was produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.
Boloere Seibidor, fondly called B.S. is a Nigerian-based writer and poet. Her favorite topics to cover include music, especially Hip-Hop, film, lifestyle, and fashion. She's been published by Feral Journal, Fantasy Magazine, The Temz Review, and most notably, Wealth of Geeks. She enjoys romantic dinners, movie nights, and touring new sites. When she's not writing, she's delving back in time to the underground world of Hip-Hop, watching TikTok, or visiting the cinema.