Relationships can be complicated. Add in a long-time best friend, and the dynamics between husband and wife can be downright complex.
Reddit user @aitaroomatebestie is finding out just how complicated close relationships can be.
Here's The Story
OP is a 36-year-old who has been married for four years. Recently, her relationship with her best friend “Anna” has become a thorn in his side.
Anna has been OP's friend forever. They even went to college together and, after they graduated, they rented a one-bedroom apartment to save money. When they were more financially secure, the two invested in a house where they have lived for 5 years — including the four years OP has been married to her husband.
OP says that she and Anna often have sleepovers and go on “little dates,” but that's how they've always been. But now, her husband is uncomfortable.
Recently, OP told her husband that when she and Anna bought the house together, Anna actually “confessed her love for her.” OP's husband got angry, but OP told him this is what he signed up for. If he had a problem with her friendship with Anna, he should've said something years ago.
OP said she loves her husband deeply, but she's not willing to “get rid of Anna” for the sake of her relationship. But her husband has been distance since the argument, and now OP is wondering if she's TA.
Redditors Have Opinions
@ElegentxEchoes has a question for OP: “Are you leading TWO people on?”
User @Critical-Musician630 thinks a little honesty on OP's part might have gone a long way.
“I was completely with OP till she snuck in that small nugget of information. He gets to look back at every single interaction between those two and try and figure out what it meant. Not sure why OP thinks everything should stay the same when she's the one who changed everything. Maybe she should have started with honesty.”
Redditor @redheadjd thinks this is definitely not what OP's husband signed up for.
“This is NOT what he signed up for. He signed up for a woman who has a dear, close friend. What he got was a woman whose live-in roommate is in love with her, has been for years.And now she's trying to act like he's behaving poorly.”
Reddit user @melli_milli would like to know what a ‘sleepover' is when you live with the person.
“What is the sleep.over with someone you live with? Sharing the bed I assume? For me sleep over is going to friends house and to sleep there for some reason. Not going into my roomies bed. Why do they need to do it if it not intimacy in one way or another?
The bestie and the husband are the ones played here. I am surprised it has gone on for so long.”
Redditor @vomitthewords wants to know how Anna's doing.
“I'm wondering how Anna is doing. She confessed her love, which has gone unrequited, and then she watched your boyfriend/husband move in. Now she lives with that every day. This sounds like something OP really needs to figure out before both of them leave her.”
In The End
All relationships go through stages, but withheld information can lead to mistrust and insecurity. Do you think OP was wrong for not disclosing her bestie's feelings? Would you have chosen the same path?
This article is produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.