Getting married is supposed to be one of the happiest days a couple will celebrate. A new beginning and the joining of two lives into one beautiful, mutual existence. Sometimes, however, weddings can cause family friction and even cause rifts that are hard or impossible to heal. One Reddit user, OP, came upon such a situation when she invited her parents to her wedding. OP is marrying a trans woman, and OP's Dad can't get on board with the marriage.
Here's The Story
OP is a 26-year-old female who is happily engaged to ‘Mira' who is a 26-year-old trans woman. The two have been dating for several years and are looking forward to sharing their nuptials with family and friends.
She admits that while most of her family took the news well, her father and some of his ‘super-religious' relatives did not.
OP says her mother originally said that her dad hadn't said anything negative about their engagement, but that when they sent out their wedding invitations, her dad said he wasn't sure he “can go to something [he doesn't] support.”
OP was furious and told her mother that she officially ‘uninvited' her dad, and if he even thought about coming, he owed OP and Mira an apology.
Her mother cried and said her dad just needed time, but OP is standing firm and plans to disown her father if he doesn't apologize.
Conflicted, OP is wondering if she went too far or if she should stand firm.
Reactions From The Online Community
Reddit user @BillsMafiaGirl thinks OP's dad is a bigot. “Listen, I am at the end of Gen X and these people are giving our generation a bad name. My dad, mom, and in-laws are boomers and thinks this is just fine (they are all really progressive). It’s not a generational thing. It is a religious/bigot thing.”
@Ladygytha hopes people will remember that sometimes it's not easy to make that ‘mind shift' from what you were taught and what you can see and understand with your own mind.
“Here's the thing – generations don't really matter. It's upbringing and proximity, imo. Ever met a 22yo who (as far as they knew) has never met a gay person? It's same sh*t, different age group.
This is not to give OP's dad (or anyone else) an out. But for people who have been taught their whole lives that this is wrong, there is a bit of a mindset shift that needs to happen and cognizant dissonance is real.
“Knowing” your whole life that something is “bad,” then seeing someone you love/like being that “bad” thing – well, I think that has to be a bit of a mindf**k.
If people's perceptions are shifting, I hope others will give a bit of grace.
If they are steadfast in their opinions, absolutely persona non grata. But upbringing and no representation (in their real lives, not just media) is what causes a lot of this fear, unwarranted hate, and miscommunication.
However, I would say that it has little to do with generations except that those in proximity are teaching the next. And if the next doesn't have the access (again irl examples, not just media) to other points of view, then it will never stop.”
In The End
Going through a fundamental shift in perspective and upbringing doesn't happen overnight. While OP has been dating her fiance for some time, if her dad is steadfast in his outdated thinking, it could mean that OP won't get the apology she's looking for.
What do you think?
Read the whole story here.
This article is produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.